‘Somebody find Duck Lips’: Waitress is driven into hysterical rage when two customers try to dine and dash on $120 tab

If one were to cast their gaze roughly upon the midsection of the circles of hell, it wouldn’t take them terribly long to spot dine-and-dashers, who are nestled neatly between HOA presidents and paparazzi, below people who drizzle ketchup over their fries instead of dipping, and far above everyone who’s ever owned the overwhelming majority of the properties during a game of Monopoly.

Indeed, there is something strikingly shameful about strolling into a restaurant and enjoying what they have to offer knowing full well that you don’t plan on paying for their services when the time comes, because the consequences usually fall upon the shoulders of the poor hosts and hostesses that are just trying to make a living. It’s no wonder, then, that TikTok‘s @grace.rayy was so profoundly irate over her most recent encounter with two such agents of scumbaggery.

According to Grace, the villains in question ordered roughly $100 worth of appetizers and alcohol, after which Grace brought the two tabs over, expecting them to pay. When Grace returned, however, the customers hadn’t touched either the book or any sort of payment method, presumably in hopes that if they just ignored the bill long enough, it would go away.

Some time passes, one of the girls vanishes, and the other girl (who Grace has unaffectionately dubbed “Duck Lips”), begins talking on her smartphone in hopes of feigning distracted negligence as she walks out of the restaurant. Grace was having none of it, however, and after what sounds like some egregiously painful back-and-forth and the help of a security guard and a manager hellbent on incinerating BS at every turn, the payment was finally made in the form of the girl CashApping Grace the necessary funds and getting on with her day. Later, Grace received a number of aggressive FaceTime attempts from the girl, who was likely vindictive over her failed scheme.

Now, Grace’s experience with these particular dine-and-dashers sounds like a particularly unique roller coaster, given the steps that were taken and the customer’s dubious lack of comprehension of what was going on. A different practitioner of dine-and-dashing may have seen it as their right to do so; according to Solink, roughly five percent of all people have tried dining and dashing at some point in their lives, with reasons ranging from thrill-seeking and curiosity, to accidentally consuming more than they can pay for, to feeling entitled to a free meal because they weren’t satisfied with the service.

In closing, dine responsibly, don’t let your ego cause you more problems than it probably already does, and if you’re looking for excitement, take up skateboarding or something of the sort instead; no one has patience for a dine-and-dasher, duck lips or no duck lips.