‘Vance is still fresh from Planet Lizard’: JD Vance’s disastrous donut run finds fresh hell as Tim Walz teaches him how to play human

It has been less than 24 hours since the JD Vance roast fest found ripe new material thanks to his supremely awkward and cringe donut debacle. But, in a twist that proves that Trump’s running mate is running low on luck, Tim Walz has once again risen as the mentor for the couch-loving Republican.

No, no. Expecting him to learn ethics, values, and moral principles from Walz is too much pressure for Vance who is still lost in the spiraling mess of what he said and what he is saying now. Nope, this time, Walz is making a cameo appearance to teach the Hillbilly Elegy author how to stamp down on his bubbling idiocy and learn how to orchestrate a restaurant visit.

After the mess that was his Philly Cheesesteak order in Phillidelphia, Vance decided that the best course of action was to stage a restaurant visit that involved a painful-to-watch interaction with the employees of a donut shop in Georgia, being pointedly disregarded, and failing to appear nonchalant while suggesting that he will take “whatever makes sense.” 

Now, we get his hesitation to take notes from Walz’s successful political career, but here when he is hurtling straight from painfully dumb to weirdly creepy at breakneck speed, maybe he should have looked to his opponent who made a similar visit a few days before the disaster Vance helmed and was oozing charisma from the beginning to the very end. 

Was this visit set up in advance? Most probably, yes, by Walz’s team who made sure that those working at this particular Runza cafe were comfortable with the exposure. As for behaving like a perfect gentleman who can carry a conversation and loop anyone into a conversation? That was all Walz who got a lot more than a forced “okay” for being the Democrat VP pick and breezed through his interactions instead of robotically questioning every new face “How you have been here?”

Not that there was any need for comparison to see how uncomfortable Vance looked, but in contrast to Walz, the GOP VP candidate seems like he is experiencing being human for the first time.

I would say that Donald Trump must be currently rueing the day he made the mistake of choosing Vance as his running mate but knowing that the former president’s political career has swung between idiotic and despicable, picking a VP whose social skills regularly glitch is actually an upgrade.