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Former U.S. Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) (L), President-elect Donald Trump's nominee to be Attorney General, walks with Vice President-elect JD Vance as they arrive for meetings with Senators at the U.S. Capitol on November 20, 2024 in Washington, DC. Gaetz is meeting with Senators as his nomination for Attorney General is under fire following a House Ethics Committee report that is expected to detail allegations of sexual misconduct.
Photo by Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images

Yes, JD Vance just said Matt Gaetz is a ‘patriot’ for stepping aside during an underage assault probe

Not the p-word we’d use to describe this guy.

The double-think exhibited by American conservatives is already at a stage that makes the government in 1984 look reasonable. Yet, soon to be vice president J.D Vance has taken this ability to a remarkable level with his recent comments about former congressman Matt Gaetz.

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Gaetz has been in the news recently as he was being considered for the role of attorney general in Trump’s government, proving for around the ten billionth time since 2016 that the former Apprentice host and convicted felon is not a serious person. However, after much uproar due to his unsuitability for the role, Gaetz has today backed out of the process, proving that there is still some semblance of sense in American politics.

Even for Trump, this was an out there pick, given that Gaetz was under an ethics investigation by his colleagues in the House. He was accused of a number of crimes and misdemeanours, ranging from showing his fellow congresspeople pornography at work, to trafficking a minor. However, in order to potentially take on the AG role, Gaetz had to withdraw from his position in the House, effectively ending the investigation before it could bear fruit.

And there’s no doubt it would have been a juicy harvest for Democrats. Gaetz has a long and documented history of being inappropriate with children, among other serious ethical (and moral) breeches, yet loudmouth Republicans who yammer on about “protecting” kids from threats, like age-appropriate books, remained strangely quiet about his nomination. Some even celebrated it, which is even more embarrassing seeing as he’s now dropped out.

JD Vance, who once likened Donald Trump to Hitler, was one of the first to show a complete lack of character in the wake of Gaetz’s announcement. The upcoming veep said that he was “extremely grateful” towards Gaetz, adding that the Floridian was “a patriot.”

In Trump’s America, that last line is kind of true, because in Trump’s America to be good is to be like Trump, and live in service of him. Gaetz is a notorious boot-licker, delivering Trump the sort of praise that the former Apprentice host’s father clearly never did. The president was also famously close to child rapist and trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, just as Gaetz’s friend and “wingman” Joel Greenberg pleaded guilty to charges of underage sex trafficking, wire fraud, stalking, and conspiring to defraud the U.S. government. They are two peas in a putrid pod, and it appears Vance has also been grown in that same tainted soil.

What next for Gaetz, then? If there were any justice in the world, it would be incarceration. As it is, we expect him to flourish in the next four years, like rot taking spreading through the floorboards of an abandoned house. Let’s just hope people have learned to keep him away from teenagers.


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Author
Image of Sandeep Sandhu
Sandeep Sandhu
Sandeep is a writer at We Got This Covered and is originally from London, England. His work on film, TV, and books has appeared in a number of publications in the UK and US over the past five or so years, and he's also published several short stories and poems. He thinks people need to talk about the Kafkaesque nature of The Sopranos more, and that The Simpsons seasons 2-9 is the best television ever produced. He is still unsure if he loves David Lynch, or is just trying to seem cool and artsy.