‘The only question is do you gold leaf it?’: As the nation suffers, Donald Trump’s cabinet debates gilding the White House

One thing every American can agree on, regardless of political beliefs, is that regular folk are suffering. Whether you believe that’s because of billionaires sucking the nation dry or immigrants stealing jobs, the standard of life for regular people is steadily dropping, prices are rising, families are falling into poverty, and jobs are drying up.

So, what’s Donald Trump and his cabinet discussing these days? Well, they’re engaged in a debate over how much of the White House to gild with gold leaf, with the President grousing that nobody has managed to invent realistic-looking gold paint.

This bizarre moment came after Trump had angrily dismissed a question about Jeffrey Epstein and the mysterious case of his client list, which first definitely existed and was on Pam Bondi’s desk, then suddenly turned out never to have existed at all. Weird! Anyway, let’s move on to more important matters. How much more gold can we fit into the White House?

Dementia or Dumb: In a crazy moment, Trump blasted a reporter for asking about Jeffrey Epstein instead of Texas. And then he rambled about whether to gold leaf the ceiling. Not Texas. Not Putin… Gold leaf.

Media: Stop ignoring his cognitive decline.pic.twitter.com/VygIRcNJTV

— Really American 🇺🇸 (@ReallyAmerican1) July 8, 2025

He loves only gold!

As his cabinet awkwardly and silently stared down at their desks, Trump expounded on the real problems he’s facing right now. Namely, interior decor:

“The only question is will I gold leaf the corners? Maybe my cabinet can take a vote. You see the top line moldings. And the only question is to gold leaf it because you can’t paint it. If you paint it, it won’t look good because they can’t make a paint that looks like gold.

You can see that in the Oval Office. They’ve tried for years and years, and someone could become very wealthy. But they’ve never found a paint that looks like gold. So painting is easy, but it won’t look right. And the question is whether or not we should gold leaf it.”

Truly, a man in touch with the problems facing ordinary folk every day! Students of history may suddenly find themselves thinking of France’s King Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette, who lived in unbelievable luxury in Versailles while their subjects starved to death in the streets. Spoiler: it didn’t end well for them!

And anyway, figuring out the interior decoration of the White House is supposed to be Melania Trump’s job! Though, to be frank, we can’t blame her for staying well away from her husband whenever possible and refusing to leave Manhattan except when there’s an event she absolutely has to attend.