If you and Donald Trump climbed into the Octagon, do you think you could take him down?
According to Trump’s official White House physical exam, he stands at a staggering 6 feet and 3 inches and weighs 224 pounds. If accurate (visual evidence strongly suggests he’s actually both shorter and heavier), this would make him a heavyweight contender, with around a 75in reach.
On top of that, Trump technically has some experience in the ring, as demonstrated when he squared off against Vince McMahon in 2007 for a WWE hair-vs-hair match known as the “Battle of the Billionaires”. He has also watched Bloodsport hundreds of times, which has to count for something.
The Battle Of The Billionaires💰
— J Stewart (@triffic_stuff_) April 4, 2026
Donald Trump vs Vince McMahon 👊
WWE at its best. Wildly entertaining 🔥
Vince was a creative genius 🧠 pic.twitter.com/GRt46isGCD
Counterbalancing all that is that Trump is also rapidly approaching his 80th birthday, is visibly overweight, hates exercise, and is about as agile as a standard wardrobe. So, not exactly Bruce Lee…
But a new poll from YouGov has indicated there’s a split between Republicans and Democrats over how they’d do in the ring against Trump.
New poll — More Republicans think Donald Trump (79) could beat them in a fight, than the inverse.
— Prem Thakker (@prem_thakker) May 6, 2026
39% think Trump would beat them
33% think they would beat him pic.twitter.com/JrZmQZyFLJ
A full 75% of Democrats believe they would easily leave Trump on the canvas, perhaps feebly crawling away from them in a futile effort to escape a further beating. Just 5% think Trump would beat them, with 20% saying they’re not sure.
Republicans, on the other hand, are apparently scared of the big, bad Donald. 39% – a clear majority – think Trump would pound haymaker after haymaker into their quivering flesh, leaving them spitting out teeth as they pleaded with him to be allowed off the Trump pain train. 33% of Republicans would grudgingly annihilate Trump, and 28% aren’t sure who’d win.
Bring in the eight-year-old!
YouGov, who appear to be having some fun with this one, then asked voters if they thought an eight-year-old boy could beat up Trump.
54% of Democrats think this kid can take Trump down, but 6% of Republicans are certain the president would leave this poor kid as a red smear on the mat. Eh, maybe it’s just not a good idea to put a topless and sweaty Trump and some random kid in the same place.
I’m fairly sure that, for all his bluster and bold words, all it would take would be a firm bonk on the nose to have Trump instantly throwing in the towel. Let’s face it, this would hardly be a triumphant victory – defeating fat octagenerians in straight combat rarely is – but it would certainly be satisfying.
Published: May 8, 2026 07:02 am