Man asks his girlfriend to wear something fancy for a date. She ends up in a place that feels completely wrong: ‘this is a red pill test’

A week ago, TikToker Miranda made a post that triggered a conversation about ‘Red Pill’ men and tactics. The video shows a girl wearing a floor-length dress at a bowling alley. The on-screen text describes the poster’s version of events, claiming, “When your boyfriend tells you to dress fancy for a date and [then] takes you bowling.” The TikTok post blew up, racking up 7.7 million views and a strong reaction from many viewers suspicious of the man’s motives. 

One user wrote, “I’m a therapist so things like this always stand out to me but it’s a lot of women in these comments who think this was a harmless prank or “not that deep” & I need yall to understand this is a manipulation tactic & an attempt to humiliate. It’s small things like these that you’ll ignore & 4 years later you’re wondering how you ended up in a relationship with a man with narcissistic traits. Don’t ever entertain this type of behavior. Ever.”

Many commenters quickly linked this behavior to what they call red pill tactics. One TikToker pointed out, “Girl this is a red pill test WATCH OUT.” Another explained, “He did that to humiliate you. That is abusive and you need to block him. Dont ever let anyone treat you this way again. As soon as you find out that they lied, you gotta get back in your car and go home. These people are dangerous.”

The Red Pill movement is a growing subculture

The red pill subculture is a movement that challenges feminist narratives and pushes traditional gender roles as the natural order. According to Forbes, the term comes from the 1999 film The Matrix, where the main character, Neo, chooses between a red and a blue pill. Online, the red pill is seen as an awakening to the supposed harsh realities of society and gender relations.

Forbes highlights two major red flags associated with this ideology. First, these men often subscribe heavily to anti-feminist views. They tend to believe that men and women have inherently different roles that are biologically ingrained. Some proponents even categorize men as either alpha or beta, with a heavy focus on trying to become an alpha. 

Per the outlet, a 2023 study in the Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment and Trauma found that many women who dated these men felt their partners believed women were intellectually inferior. One participant reportedly shared, “He kept telling me ‘your college degree is a waste of time.’” Similar to this experience, recently a New York TikToker shared that on a first date, the man mansplained her own illness to her.

Second, the red pill community is often linked to highly manipulative behavior. Forbes reported that a study published in Personal Relationships found that dark personality traits like narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism are common among those who identify with this community. 

The author of the study, Ian Zapcic, reportedly noted that these men “consistently displayed self-interest and willingness to use manipulation to meet their needs, portraying themselves to their partners and the world as successful while callously disregarding partners’ emotions in their pursuit of sex or social desirability.” In one recent instance, a woman went through her boyfriend’s YouTube history and found he was watching videos on how to manipulate women.

On TikTok, some users shared stories of when something similar happened to them. One user shared their own experience: “I swear they do this on purpose! My ex told me we we’re “going to the most expensive restraunt in nashville so dress up. ‘ He ended up picking me up in jeans and work boots and took me to the PF Changs in the mall.” 

Another stated, “That happened to me before. He told me to dress up took me bowling and then was on his phone the whole time. I just embraced the game, smile & then blocked him after.”

 One TikToker had a realization from the comments. They then noted, “People saying this is a red pill tactic is actually so f—ing smart. Because they could just as easily tell you to dress casual and take you someone super high end. But they don’t want to spend their money and it would make them look bad with you.” 

In a follow-up video, Miranda shared that the girl in the viral post was actually her niece. She tagged her TikTok profile,  Ivonne, and wrote in the on-screen text, “When your niece accidentally goes viral for bowling in a dress.” 

This update led one user to ask, “So it was fake? For views? Weird.” However, most of the users asked if Ivonne had broken up with her boyfriend. One asked Miranda, “So did you teach your niece that this is red flag behavior and she needs to dump him?”