Kate Middleton and Prince William ‘infuriated’ and ‘saddened’ as Harry and Meghan officially replace them

A word of advice for anyone courting the idea of marrying into the British Royal Family: don’t. That is, if you harbor even a little bit of stock in public opinion — because if you so much as wear a skirt when they would have preferred you wore pants, it’s going to draw a hefty pile of ire and take up way too much time of way too many people.

Few are as aware of this gauntlet as Meghan Markle, whose latest unforgivable transgression has come in the form of referring to two of her close friends — tennis legend Serena Williams and makeup artist Daniel Martin — as “auntie” and “uncle” for her children, Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet. A sign of warmth towards one’s chosen family, or a snub of Prince William and Princess Catherine, who are the blood uncle and aunt of Archie and Lilibet? Well, that depends on your propensity for petty drama — a long-practiced dark art in this family.

Indeed, according to a Royal insider per New Idea, Meghan’s “disregard shown to the children’s blood family is astonishing.” They continued, “Prince William and Princess Catherine especially would love to be in their nephew and niece’s lives because family is everything to them – but it’s now very apparent that Meghan’s makeup artist Daniel Martin and tennis champ Serena Williams have usurped them.”

Oh, the humanity! Quel scandale! And so on and so on. But seriously, I have no idea what these people are playing at — I have four aunts and four uncles, and never has the use of the word “aunt” or “uncle” ever implied a lesser degree of affection for the three other aunts and uncles. Then again, I don’t take myself very seriously, and that becomes a point of greater and greater pride with every passing piece of Royal tea.

The source goes on to suggest that Prince William “especially will no doubt be infuriated by the snub,” despite how frequently the Prince of Wales has shot down opportunities for familial reconciliation with the Sussexes. In fact, just last month, it was reportedly his cold attitude that sabotaged Kate Middleton’s plan to gerrymander amends between Harry and William when the former visited the Waleses’ vacation island of Mustique.

The encounter (or non-encounter, however you want to put it) reportedly left Kate in tears, as she may have to accept this estrangement as a final sort of normal while putting to bed any hopes of being close with the Sussexes. The source noted, “Catherine, too, especially feels saddened that, despite everything that’s happened, she and William don’t know Harry’s children.” Or at least, that’s what somebody said, in the same way that a Regina George-type might say something about someone over school cafeteria creamed corn.

Frankly, it’s not much of a revelation. Let’s assume that William is indeed miffed that Meghan called Serena Williams and David Martin “aunt” and “uncle,” despite how he is apparently incapable of getting out of his own way for the sake of having a relationship with Harry and his family. Is that really any surprise coming from the guy that throws a tantrum if there’s a hiccup in his bath time schedule?