“She’s fine” is a relative term. Sometimes it means “the lady we’re talking about is working regularly and has a roof over her head.” Sometimes it just means “she’s not on Toddlers & Tiaras anymore.”
Luckily, both things seem to be true of former child pageant participant Eden Wood, who, according to her own website’s biography, made it all the way to six months old before being put on stage. She was a crusty old salt of four years old when she made her Toddlers and Tiaras debut on TLC. A near-instant hit with whoever was watching that show, she even landed a single-season, Eden-focused spin off, Eden’s World, which ran for eight episodes in 2012, exploring her life in the public sphere and her relationship with her mother, Mickie.
In 2014, she appeared in a reimagining of Hal Roach’s Our Gang films, The Little Rascals Save the Day, from Alex Zamm, the director of that Woody Woodpecker movie from 2017 that you forgot about until just now. At six, Eden Wood gave up the limelight and retired. As so often happens to world-weary first graders in this economy, she later realized that she would have to return to work.
Time carried on. Seasons changed, leaves fell and regrew, and Wood did what most people do, at least for a while: She kept being alive. As a result, she got older, and by 15, she was acting and modeling professionally, appearing in short films and walking the runway at New York Fashion Week, all while reportedly maintaining a perfect GPA and participating in extracurriculars including cheerleading, band, and choir.
In May 2023, the ex-toddler and recovering tiara receptacle graduated high school as valedictorian, telling Today that she intended to rustle up a bachelor’s degree in broadcast journalism and that she had nothing but good things to say about her experience as a child beauty pageant contestant. She also expressed interest in reclaiming the tiaras she once donned as a toddler, hoping to one day compete for the title of Miss America as the representative of the great state of Arkansas. By all accounts, Wood’s story is a rare and impressive one, marked by personal successes and a remarkable lack of public drama, scandal, or breakdown.
Meanwhile, interested parties can rest assured that Honey Boo Boo was last seen stalking the bayous of Louisiana by moonlight, hunting catfish with her bare hands, challenging alligators to battles of physical dominance, and exsanguinating strung-up sacks of Go-Go Juice, left by way of sacrificial offering by the terrified locals. Fear her.
Published: Dec 9, 2023 05:18 pm