What is Megan Thee Stallion’s shoe size?

Today, we turn our attention to Megan Thee Stallion, celebrity feuds, and the unintended consequences of the modern diss track.

In January of 2024, Megan Thee Stallion released “HISS,” an emotional zit pop of a number featuring lyrics that many interpreted as a direct dig at Nicki Minaj. Minaj appears to have agreed with that assessment, releasing a diss track a few days later, titled “Big Foot.” This number doesn’t shy away from its intended purpose: It’s all about Megan Thee Stallion, how she’s nasty, and how she’s too tall and weirdly proportioned, and she’ll just do kissing with anyone.

Basically, two of the most successful performers in the world are having one of those fights from middle school where two people circle each other in the hall screaming no-thank-you language at each other and wait for a teacher to split them up so they don’t have to do anything scary, only both of the teenagers have been nominated for Grammys, and one of them is in her 40s. 

All of this brings us back to the subject of “unintended consequences,” because, while I’m sure neither musician ever meant for this to happen, their argument led directly to me having to Google some stuff that I otherwise wouldn’t have so that I could write this piece for work. Now I have to spend the rest of my life as a guy with “Megan Thee Stallion foot size” burned into his search algorithm. Can’t wait to see what Amazon’s “Just For You” page does with that. Anyway, here’s Megan Thee Stallion’s foot size, and I hope you’re grateful.

Megan Thee Stallion’s reportedly normal feet, explained

From the best information available to us, based on our inability and disinterest in gaining access to Megan Thee Stallion’s shoes, the “Savage” performer wears around a size 8. CelebsFitnes lists her shoe size as an 8, Celebrity Inside says she’s an 8. A few other sources put her at a 9 or a 10, but the general consensus is that she wears a size 8. 

Per Healthline, this would actually put Megan Thee Stallion slightly below the average American woman’s foot size, which they list at between an 8.5 and a 9. Meanwhile, calculating based on the average primate’s proportions in which the length of a creature’s foot measures approximately 15% of its height, cryptozoologists estimate that Bigfoot would wear anywhere between a size 16 and a size 21 in men’s – way bigger than Megan Thee Stallion’s feet in any case. Do your research, Nicki. Words matter. 

Alright. Now I’m going to go figure out how to Purell my search history before I wind up on a watchlist. You’re welcome, America.