The Internet Is Hating Marvel’s New Woke Superheroes

In these divisive times, it takes a lot to unite everyone, but Marvel Comics has done it. Earlier this week, they unveiled two new heroes: Snowflake and Safespace. The characters will be part of Luciano Vecchio and Daniel Kibblesmith’s New Warriors series and the company has been promoting Snowflake as their first non-binary superhero, with Kibblesmith explaining the pair as follows:

“Hyper aware of modern culture and optics, and they see their Super Heroics as ‘a post-ironic meditation on using violence to combat bullying. It’s this idea that these are terms that get thrown around on the internet that they don’t see as derogatory. [They] take those words and kind of wear them as badges of honour.”

It’s also worth watching him explain them in person, which feels like it might be lifted from a Christopher Guest movie:

https://twitter.com/LilithLovett/status/1240080036306141184?s=20

And let’s get this out of the way because it needs to be addressed up top – this is not a joke. Apparently, Marvel is serious. And with these new heroes, they’ve managed to unite everyone in disgust. Obviously, the usual right-wing chuds are typically apoplectic at the news, but even self-described SJWs are telling Marvel this ain’t it, chief. They’re joined by LGBTQ campaigners who are also confused and annoyed.

Here’s just one quote from Twitter that sums up how everyone is feeling.

“Calling your first non-binary superheroes Snowflake and Safespace is the most insensitive and out of touch things you could do. They sound like the kind of names you’d expect a writer who’s trying to make fun of non-binary people would give their characters.”

But while Snowflake and Safespace might be the most obviously bad, don’t worry, because the rest of the team suck, too. They’ll be joined by Screentime, “a Meme-Obsessed super teen whose brain became connected to the internet after becoming exposed to his grandfather’s experimental internet gas,” B-Negative, a vampire “also obsessed with all the music and who has the attitude of a “classic” long-past decades like the ’90s, and the ’00s,” and Trailblazer, who has a “magic backpack.”

I have to repeat this: THIS IS NOT A JOKE. These characters will debut in New Warriors #1, which releases on April 15th. We can only hope that the Coronavirus wipes us from the face of the planet by then.