It’s been a terrible month to be a penguin. Ordinarily, these resilient creatures are happy to remain in their icy homes sliding about, catching fish, and rearing adorably photogenic chicks. But right now, things are going from bad to worse for them.
First came Donald Trump, who unexpectedly slapped Australia’s Heard and McDonald Islands with a trade tariff. The wrinkle was that those islands are inhabited only by penguins, animals not generally known for their involvement in the global import and export of goods. Widespread derision followed, with many holding this up as a prime example that Trump and his White House goons don’t know what they’re doing.
Now, to add insult to injury, rising costs have forced a zoo in Japan to severely downgrade the diet of its penguins. Gone are the days when they could expect to be fed the finest catch, now they’re being asked to choke down whatever’s been scraped off the market floor at the end of the day. This, it seems, is a step too far:
An aquarium in Japan has changed the diet of its penguins and otters due to rising costs, and the animals are refusing to eat the cheaper fish pic.twitter.com/1gomYsdh0g
— banx (@wydbanx) April 20, 2025
This cruel switch-up violates the penguin/human accords that have kept inter-species relations peaceful for decades. The penguins get good fish, we get to gawp at their antics from behind a glass wall. As can be seen in the video, it’s flippers down over at the zoo, with the birds refusing to even peck at the crummy food their keepers are trying to convince them to swallow.
Like all people of good judgment, I’m standing in solidarity with these fine flightless birds. After all, penguins have given so much to the world and asked for very little in return. We loved their antics in Happy Feet, Madagascar, and Surf’s Up but for years, they’ve silently endured being slandered by the cruel insinuation that they were somehow up to no good by Wallace & Gromit and their continued close association with supervillain Oswald Cobblepot.
It’s perhaps notable that while there are no accounts on record of a penguin killing a human being, it’s widely known that you shouldn’t cross them. As per Creatures Galore, when angered they will slap you with their flippers, then move in to deliver a nasty peck with the sharp, hooked beaks. As scientists wisely note, humans are also at a disadvantage due to penguins living on slippery ice, potentially causing you to fall and break a bone or suffer a head injury during a man vs penguin encounter. They conclude: “If a penguin begins to approach you and seems aggressive, you should slowly back away, without turning your back on them.”
Perhaps it’s time to take these little guys seriously. After all, do we really want to toss away centuries of peaceful human/penguin co-existence over a couple of yen?
Published: Apr 21, 2025 08:09 am