12 Video Game Amusement Parks That We’d Never Visit

Specter Land (Ape Escape)

While most monkeys would be content flinging poo at passersby, Ape Escape’s are all about ruling the world from their own amusement parks in hipster sunglasses.

Specter is one such monkey. A mad genius bent on rewriting human history and placing the world’s furrier primates on top, Specter rechristens his former zoo habitat of Monkey Park as “Specterland,” a twisted circus whose permanent residents include an evil killer clown and ghostly fart clouds.

In it, you must survive a variety of deathtraps, the least of which include a deadly remote-controlled car, and a heart-stopping roller coaster ride. It’s a pity, too, because they almost look like fun.

Carnival Of The Damned (Monkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge)

Any place that goes by “Carnival of the Damned” should probably be as inviting as its namesake eludes.

Constructed by the undead pirate captain LeChuck to harness the energy of the Big Whoop, the park offers no such joy save for it making you feel like a kid again – literally. In reality, the park curses all its guests into thinking they’re just kids on a family’s night out. Now that’s marketing.

Thus, visitors remain ignorant to the fact that its signature roller coaster plunges its spellbound riders through a scorching lava pit where they’re reborn as skeletal lackeys under LeChucks’ command.

I assume that’ll make the park’s “Guess Your Age and Weight” booth a bit easier – or a bit harder?