An infuriatingly formulaic action comedy does the absolute bare minimum and no more on streaming

If you take two massively charismatic stars known for their quick-witted banter and penchant for creative profanity, and then team them up in a movie helmed by the director of The Expendables 3, then the absolute bare minimum that should be expected is sparkling chemistry among the fistfights, car chases, and gunplay. On that front, The Hitman’s Bodyguard delivered, but it was found severely lacking everywhere else.

Coasting by on the radiant star power of Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson, the duo are on on fine form as the bickering pair caught up in a conspiracy that takes them across Europe. And yet, audiences were well within their right to expect more from the film than run-of-the-mill squabbling, gratuitous violence, uninspired set pieces, and some truly terrible CGI.

It’s not just Reynolds and Jackson, either, with The Hitman’s Bodyguard additionally conspiring to squander the talents of Gary Oldman, Salma Hayek, Élodie Yung, Richard E. Grant, and Joaquim de Almeida to name but a few. It was a big hit after earning $177 million at the box office, to be fair, but a 43 percent Rotten Tomatoes score hits the crushingly formulaic nail on the head.

It could have been so much better than the reasonably diverting escapade it turned out to be, and it’s damning that perhaps the best thing you can say about The Hitman’s Bodyguard is that it’s better than the sequel. Of course, big names and bigger explosions draw a crowd on streaming no matter the weather, so we’re not shocked to see it rank as one of iTunes’ top-performing titles per FlixPatrol.

We’ve even been threatened with a third installment in the franchise, but we’d genuinely be okay with it so long as the quality was upped.