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5 Lame Avengers That Won’t Ever Appear In The Marvel Cinematic Universe

Recently, a little movie known as Avengers: Age of Ultron was quietly released in a couple of cinemas. From all accounts, the film did pretty well. Classic case of 'The Little Movie That Could.' For the rare few who were lucky enough to see it, Age of Ultron introduced a number of new Avengers, including the one Olsen who can act and that fast guy who was way better in the X-Men movie.

3) Triathlon

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It’s somewhat ironic that the hero also known as 3D Man is more two-dimensional than Reed Richards crushed under a steamroller, but them’s the breaks when you’re created to hit the diversity quota.

In keeping with the code name, Triathlon possesses three times the strength and speed of a normal human being… which is great, unless of course you’re fighting four or more thugs for hire. Bugger. Why he couldn’t have been called Decathlon is beyond me, but then again, I’m not the one creating lame Avengers to replace those who are dead/rebranded/changing gender.

Important side note: Triathlon actually wears 3D goggles, like, for real. Actual 3D goggles. As if they weren’t annoying enough in real life, we now have to endure superheroes jumping onto weird bandwagons that a comic book writer somewhere thinks is gonna hit it big with ‘the kids.’

Disco may have died decades ago, but at least the Dazzler had those kick ass roller skates…

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