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LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - FEBRUARY 05: (FOR EDITORIAL USE ONLY) Dwayne Johnson attends the 65th GRAMMY Awards at Crypto.com Arena on February 05, 2023 in Los Angeles, California.
Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

It’s cheat day, which obviously means Dwayne Johnson is threatening to eat his children’s new pet

It's not going to be anywhere near substantial enough.

When you’re an absolute unit the size of Dwayne Johnson, it takes an awful lot of fuel and upkeep to remain in peak physical condition, something that’s regularly proven true by the sheer size of the actor and producer’s cheat meals.

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Aquaman would have a meltdown if he saw the mountainous volume of sushi The Rock can pack away in one sitting, and there’s no point even trying to list the amount of calories he can consume in one go, because there’s a high probability your chances of heart disease will increase just from seeing it written down.

However, the hungry A-list superstar had his sights set on something a lot smaller in his latest Instagram video, but he isn’t quite a capable enough hunter and gatherer to capture his prey. Having returned home recently to discover that his two youngest daughters had acquired a pair of guinea pigs that he deemed as suffering from the “crackhead zoomies,” maybe it’s for the best that he didn’t manage to seize one of them after a couple of failed attempts.

You can bet your house on a single guinea pig being nowhere near substantial enough to satiate somebody like Johnson, who needs something a great deal larger as prey to count as a cheat meal. Luckily for the animal, he was foiled in his plans to snatch it out and make it disappear – probably without chewing – but you get the distinct impression the kids wouldn’t be too happy were the old man to chow down on their new pal.


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Scott Campbell
News, reviews, interviews. To paraphrase Keanu Reeves; Words. Lots of words.