13) Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust (2008)
Director: Silvia St. Croix
Alright, so it’s pretty obvious I’m starting from the bottom with my list.
I understand I’m introducing the Gingerdead Man in his sequel here, but there’s a pretty damn good reason why. I had a hard time including Passion of the Crust on my Christmas horror list due to flawed filmmaking that will turn horror snobs off instantaneously, but caved after watching an even more grossly ill-advised killer cookie sequel in Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver, so I’ll give it a shot.
OK, heed my warnings here people. The only way you’ll enjoy St. Croix’s half-baked B-movie slasher is in a big group of die hard horror fans who love fun over execution, probably made more entertaining by copious amounts of alcohol. I’ll admit it’s frustrating filmmaking, but on the other hand, it’s a living cookie-person shelling out terrible baking puns and killing people through brutally violent means, like a curling iron to the most holy of holes. If you’ve got some “so bad it’s good” horror fans wanting a bonkers holiday watch, Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust should satiate their lust for famous spices and evil desserts. Mama always said too many sweets would kill you…
12) Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)
Director: Lee Harry
Oh Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2, where do I begin?
Much like Passion Of The Crust, Harry’s sequel is pretty bad by typical movie-going standards, but has somehow gained a ridiculous cult following of B-Movie Christmas junkies. While the first half of the film is mainly flashbacks to Silent Night, Deadly Night, as original killer Billy’s little brother Ricky recalls events which led to his own insanity, Ricky’s rampage through a quiet suburban town has a special place in B-Movie Hall of Fame. Don’t believe me? Just say the line “GARBAGE DAY!” to any devout horror fan, and you’ll immediately receive a childish grin provoked by memories of awful acting and senseless holiday spree-killing.
11) Black Christmas (2006)
Director: Glen Morgan
Again, since I’m working backwards, we’ll get to the original and far superior Black Christmas later, but first let’s take a look at Glen Morgan’s recent remake.
Compared to the original Black Christmas, Morgan’s screenplay warrants him nothing but stockings full of coal for the rest of his life. It’s stupidly obvious and poorly constructed, really removing all the horror and suspense created by the original. Good horror is morphed into dumbed-down slasher material, and there’s no real mystery present. Yeah, I wasn’t much of a fan of the creative liberties Morgan took in twisting his own interpretation of a much more successful story.
But, it is a horror movie, and for those who don’t give a hoot about tight scripting, Morgan’s remake brings the kills hard, along with a smokin’ hot cast. The likes of Katie Cassidy, Michelle Trachtenberg, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and Lacy Chabert are all gruesomely slaughtered in a fit of holiday anger, and for some that will be enough Christmas carnage to entertain for the night. For those people, you’ll have a much better time with Morgan’s remake than I did, but the bloody redeeming qualities do exist.
Continue the countdown on the next page…