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Nato And Remy’s Last Stand: Mainstream Horror Nightmares – And Not The Good Kind

After struggling through I, Frankenstein not too long ago, this week's article topic was an easy one for me to come up with - mainstream horror moments that make Nato and Remy very sad pandas. Seriously - did any of you see I, Frankenstein? Sure, there were some decently entertaining fight sequences between gargoyles, demons, and a studly Frankenstein, but at the expense of character development, storyboarding, and proper atmosphere design that couldn't even establish a hustling and bustling city. What kind of city has zero residents besides living gargoyles and shapeshifting demons?

Remy – Captivity

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I am sorry, but as much as I hate the term, “torture porn” had some real potential at first. Hostel and the first Saw movie proved this. If you give us a good enough story around the brutal kills, we eat the carnage up. Then came Captivity – the movie that decided to just take out all the story and torture a bitch for ninety minutes in increasingly disgusting ways. Yes, I casually referred to the Eliza Cuthbert as a bitch here. Not to demean her or because that is what I think of her, but because that is what they reduced her to. Just some horror movie bitch being slowly destroyed.

What was the story, again? She was some pop culture Paris Hilton type, so we were not supposed to feel bad for her? Yeah, I think for me, the moment that crossed all lines was when the killer put her dog in a blender and was making her drink its remains. I like horror. I like horror that sometimes shocks. But you know what I don’t like? Juvenile and cruel horror that seems like it was written by a fourteen year old boy with a constant boner.

The big problem with Captivity is the negative attention it brought the horror genre. All it takes is one Captivity making it into the hands of certain press people, and now we’re much less likely to hear about the great, original, and chilling horror that comes out and deserves accolades. It’s a step back for the whole genre.

I get what they were trying to do (hey, let’s push the envelope just to push it) but it failed because it deserved to, and it was a shameful moment for horror in general.

Tell us, what moments made you absolutely cringe? Let us know in the comments!

*A special thanks to Remy for stepping in to guest write! Feel free to follow either of us on Twitter for even more insanity and updates:

Matt Donato

Remy Carreiro

Like what you read? Check out last week’s article where Nato and Remy discuss the most memorable babies in horror! Aw, so cute!

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