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Nato And Remy’s Last Stand: The Mother’s Day Edition! (Hey Mom, I Swear I’m Not Insane…)

Whether or not our mothers like to admit it, Remy and I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for them. While I know Remy's taste in horror was in fact influence by his mother, I can tell you my horror obsession has nothing to do with my innocent, Wii-Dance playing sweetheart of a mama. She can count the number of times she's been drunk on one hand, was a total self-admitted goody two-shoes growing up, is almost a legal midget (off by a few inches), loves terrible romantic comedies, and yet she's responsible for this foul-mouthed, whisky slugging, horror movie marathon machine of a son who loves writing about the most f*cking insane shit he can find. My Dad will tell you it's because my Grandmother got me interested in the dark arts while babysitting me when I was a wee-little Nato (he loves telling cheesy jokes about my Grandma being a witch), but in all honesty, I don't have the slightest clue where my love for all things horror came from.

Remy – A Serbian Film

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While I am not here to extol the virtues of this film (because outside of bragging rights that you made it through it, there are none), I can openly say that if there was one movie in existence that if my Mom walked in on me watching would make her disown me on the spot, it would be A Serbian Film. This movie is about an ex-porn star who gets called in to do one last movie, and finds out, a little too late, that it is snuff of the most extreme kind. This flick is SO offensive, that even horror fans like me, who are depraved and love the sickest of the sick, find NOTHING good to say about it. Well, the cinematography is quite striking, but for an actual film, it is simply a sloppy crash course in the shocking. From eye sockets being hate-f*cked to newborn babies being raped, A Serbian Film is the last film you watch before you kill yourself.

I would honestly prefer my Mom walk in on me watching sloppy, hairy, 70s porn than watching this movie.

Nato – Tokyo Gore Police

When thinking of all the horror films that have scarred my mother for life just by catching glimpses as she passes through the basement in route to the laundry room, Tokyo Gore Police stands out in my mind first and foremost. Why? Because it involves scenes in which young schoolchildren gleefully cut themselves with special razors, a vagina stretched into a leathery chair sprays piss all over an audience, a man has a tremendous penis gun that shoots, and of course a female bar owner is shown being drawn and quartered. This is all on top of the tremendous amount of gore already included in a film full of decapitations, limb removals, blood, blood, and more blood.

It’s not only the copious amounts of gore that throw my mother into a tizzy though, she became used to that, but also the sadistic fun that Japanese extremism films show. There’s no seriousness or realism paid to death, and in most cases these films tend to sexualize violence and death in a way that makes most genre directors look like they should be institutionalized. In the battle of psychology versus visuals, sometimes the motives seem much more repulsive.

Either way, Tokyo Gore Police is nothing you should let your sweet, innocent mother witness – which means it’s one hell of an awesome ride!

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