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Nato And Remy’s Last Stand: The Mother’s Day Edition! (Hey Mom, I Swear I’m Not Insane…)

Whether or not our mothers like to admit it, Remy and I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for them. While I know Remy's taste in horror was in fact influence by his mother, I can tell you my horror obsession has nothing to do with my innocent, Wii-Dance playing sweetheart of a mama. She can count the number of times she's been drunk on one hand, was a total self-admitted goody two-shoes growing up, is almost a legal midget (off by a few inches), loves terrible romantic comedies, and yet she's responsible for this foul-mouthed, whisky slugging, horror movie marathon machine of a son who loves writing about the most f*cking insane shit he can find. My Dad will tell you it's because my Grandmother got me interested in the dark arts while babysitting me when I was a wee-little Nato (he loves telling cheesy jokes about my Grandma being a witch), but in all honesty, I don't have the slightest clue where my love for all things horror came from.

Remy – Baise Moi

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You know there had to be at least ONE rape revenge movie on this list, and though I almost went with The Woman (which is one of my fave horror films of all time), that is not a rape revenge movie, though that may be an element to the story. No, Baise Moi is as extreme as this sub-genre can get, and took the movie one step further by casting porn stars as the leads, so the rape scenes have actual intercourse. So, in essence, the rape scenes you see are absolutely, disgustingly, real. All you need to know I have already told you in two words: rape revenge. Add to that the sloppy camera work paired with the unflinching violence, and Basie Moi is a movie that you don’t even have in the same HOUSE as your Mother – just out of respect.

Truthfully, don’t see this movie unless you want to swallow your own vomit multiple times.

Nato – Maniac (2013)

Yup, I don’t think my Mom would be too thrilled to find out one of my favorite horror movies of 2013 so far is about a murderous stalker (Frank, played by Elijah Wood) who targets young, attractive girls, hunts them down, brutally kills them, scalps them, and then staples these real-life wigs to mannequins which he treats as real women. Not only that, but Frank’s womanizing ways were only brought on because of a neglectful, abusive, whoreish mother who traumatized him for life – the opposite of what Mother’s Day celebrates.

Franck Khalfoun’s 2013 Maniac remake surpasses William Lustig’s 1980s original in every department if you’re asking me, be it stomach-churningly brutal kills or Elijah Wood’s psychotically beautiful performance, but there’s absolutely NOTHING for a mother to love here.

Again, if we look past the visible gross-outs, scalpings, sliced ACLs, and choked out hotties, there’s nothing worse for a mother than seeing another one fail miserably – and then be forced to watch the after effects. Imagine the life poor little Frank could have led had his mother not turned him into a deranged womanizer struggling to find love, as a mother’s heart has to break as Frank flashes back to moments of being banished to a closet while his drugged up mommy fucks the dirtiest sleazeballs she can find at the local club.

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