‘The King’s Man’ cut an action scene with a weaponized penis

the king's man

Amazon’s smash hit superhero series The Boys has shown that prestige drama can incorporate massive penises into its action sequences, with the show going on to become the fist comic book adaptation to land an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Drama Series, even after the voting body saw Mother’s Milk attacked by a ten-foot prehensile dong.

Matthew Vaughn’s Kingsman franchise isn’t going to win any Academy Awards, but it does share the same sense of anarchic spirit as The Boys, except in this instance Vaughn didn’t have the balls to go through with his plan, instead opting to give his phallic set piece the shaft.

In an interview with CinemaBlend, The King’s Man star Rhys Ifans revealed that there were originally plans in place for his Rasputin to use his penis as a weapon during an escape attempt, but for obvious reasons it was deemed unsuitable for the final cut.

“Rasputin famously had, I don’t know how to put this into… had a large penis, apparently. And there was a scene in the film where Rasputin is being massaged by Mata Hari, to try and extract some information from him. Then he discovers that she’s a spy, and in his fury, he breaks the massage table, in half, with his own penis. Now, with all the good will in the world, and as far fetched as Kingsman might be, that was just a step too far for us. But it was fun to shoot, and thankfully, I didn’t have to use my own penis. … It will resurface. I mean the scene, obviously, not the penis itself.”

The King’s Man has won equal measures of praise and derision for being a tonally inconsistent mess, albeit one that’s also hugely entertaining in parts. It wouldn’t be unfair to suggest that seeing Rhys Ifans use his penis to cleave a table in half would have probably proven to be a little contentious, but perfectly in keeping with the style of the piece.