Just as Swifties were getting ready to dive into the 16-track Tortured Poets Department, Taylor Swift unveiled a secret anthology album accompanying this ambitious release and including an additional 15 songs.
That brings the total number of songs in The Tortured Poets Department up to 31, which would be a difficult undertaking, even for the most ardent Swift stans out there. Some might say overwhelming, even, because this latest album is mostly focused on lyricism and poetry. (I mean, if the name didn’t already tip you off, listening to the first three songs will do the job.)
Imagine trying to analyze your way through all these tracks only to realize that Miss Americana has saved some of the heavy, heartbreaking hitters for the secret second album. Some people might opt to just play the album from the beginning and see where it leads them, but others may prefer to sift through the playlist and find the important songs first.
If you find yourself among the ranks of the latter, we’ve got you covered. Here’s a ranking of all The Tortured Poets Department songs from worst to best. As with all listings of this kind, the following rating order is subjective, but it can give you a general idea of what the T-Swizzle has whipped up for her fans in this eleventh outing.
31. “The Alchemy“
As the fifteenth track of the first Tortured Poets Department, “The Alchemy” alludes to Swift’s new beau Travis Kelce and discusses what it felt like for her to fall in love again and rediscover things she’d forgotten. It also refers to the duo’s collective success over the past year, with Kelce winning the Super Bowl and Taylor presiding over the highest-grossing tour in history. Lyrically and structurally, though, “The Alchemy” doesn’t do much to reinvent Taylor’s established formula.
30. “Cassandra“
In everything but name, “Cassandra” is the lost twin of “mad woman” from folklore. Even composition-wise, “Cassandra” is extremely similar to “mad woman” and even revolves around the same subject matter. This time, Taylor is drawing an analogy between herself and the Trojan priestess Cassandra, whose words of warning, truthful though they turned out to be, were not believed by the masses.
29. “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived“
One of the first things you’ll notice about Tortured Poets is that the album is all over the place in terms of what it’s trying to convey. “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived” is basically Taylor revisiting some of her older work like “Dear John,” but in a more somber tone.
28. “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?“
Taylor’s greatest strength as a songwriter is her ability to draw on her own life experiences to create amazing songs. But sometimes, these experiences and anecdotes get a little too specific and become lost in their little world of allusions and on-the-nose jabs. Perhaps that’s the best way to describe “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?” and the next song on this list…
27. “thanK you aIMee”
“thanK you aIMee” is about Kim Kardashian. I mean, if you didn’t get that from “And so I changed your name, and any real defining clues,” then Taylor stylizing the song’s title on Apple Music and Spotify as “thanK you aIMee” ⏤ with the capitals spelling out Kim’s name ⏤ should make it perfectly clear. Some hatchets just can’t be buried, eh?
26. “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart“
“I Can Do It With a Broken Heart” might come off as an upbeat song, but the lyrics actually paint a dark picture of the Eras Tour. A lot of Swifties had assumed that Taylor was doing fine after her breakup with Joe Alwyn, but it seems that it was all an act. We don’t know whether to feel sad for Taylor or applaud her resilience, but one thing is certain: this song feels incongruous next to the rest of Tortured Poets.
25. “Fortnight (feat. Post Malone)“
“Fortnight” serves as the first single in Tortured Poets, but apart from the long-anticipated collaboration with Post Malone, nothing sets the song apart from the endless sea of synth-pop arrangements out there.
24. “I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)“
No, really, she can’t. Taylor has dedicated this song (and a few more) in Tortured Poets to Matty Healy and their short-lived romance.
23. “Clara Bow“
“Clara Bow” is a song dedicated to everyone who struggles with mental issues, especially if they’re in the spotlight. For those of you who don’t know, Clara Bow was an American thespian who rose to prominence as “The It Girl” because of her charming personality and gorgeous looks. But as has been proven time and again, that can be a recipe for disaster.
22. “The Manuscript“
This one is the ultimate love letter for a poet who has spent most of her life hiding the true extent of her literary reach, chained by the cognitive limits of the medium that made her name. Swift remains a storyteller at heart, and you needn’t look any further than Tortured Poets or this track to realize that she’s still telling stories almost two decades after the start of her career.
21. “Imgonnagetyouback“
Even though “Imgonnagetyouback” is in the second, prominently Dessner-led part of the album, it’s produced by Jack Antonoff and features those repetitive synth-pop motifs. Still, the track itself marks a clear break in Taylor’s songwriting process and pushes her toward the poetic undercurrents of folklore and evermore.
20. “So High School“
A surefire way to find your way to a Swiftie’s heart is to give them a taste of old Taylor Swift. Perhaps the singer herself understands this better than everyone. “So High School” is the second track in Tortured Poets to center around Travis Kelce and it doesn’t disappoint when it comes to evoking the careless nonchalance of teenage love.
19. “Robin“
“Robin” is very heartbreaking, because more than anything, it brings to mind the idea of lost innocence. It also feels like a track straight out of those folklore days, and we’ll never be able to say no to more of that.
18. “Down Bad“
So continues Swift’s transition from a so-called millennial to a hip, up-to-date artist. “Down Bad” tells the struggle of a person who has developed an intense crush on someone and can’t accept the fact that things might not work out.
17. “Guilty as Sin?“
When is a fantasy not simply a fantasy? Are you to be held accountable for your thoughts? In “Guilty as Sin?” Taylor once again brings her brilliant songwriting prowess to bear on a sentiment we’ve all experienced and known all too well.
16. “I Look in People’s Windows“
This one is a short song reflecting a specific experience, intricately put into a song by Taylor and finding a unique place in the Tortured Poets chapter house.
15. “The Prophecy“
“The Prophecy” is without a doubt one of the best-written songs on Tortured Poets. Dessner’s guitar, Taylor’s melodious voice, and the intricate, metaphorical lyrics come together to show the vulnerable side of the singer’s soul of souls.
14. “Fresh Out The Slammer“
“Fresh Out The Slammer” is a subtle homage to the sounds of Midnights. Taylor’s vocalizations remind us of her work on “Lavender Haze” and “Snow On The Beach,” though the lyrics themselves continue to chronicle her unexplained fascination with this new romantic fling.
13. “How Did It End?“
One of the huge differences between Tortured Poets and Taylor’s previous albums is the lack of iconic bridges. The punch of these new lyrics seems to have been spread out through the verses and the choruses of each track, but that doesn’t mean Taylor has forgotten that she’s the best architect in the business. If you want proof of that, just listen to this song.
12. “But Daddy I Love Him“
I have a hunch that “But Daddy I Love Him” will become one of the most talked-about songs on this entire album. The lyrics are daring and provocative, the chorus can come off as downright accusatory, and the tune is catchy enough to warrant more than a few listens. Think “illicit affairs,” but angrier, and you’ll have “But Daddy I Love Him.”
11. “Florida!!! (feat. Florence and the Machine)“
I didn’t know I needed a Taylor Swift and Florence Welch duo before The Tortured Poets Department. Taylor’s raspy voice creates a haunting juxtaposition with Florence’s clear vocalization, even if the lyrics don’t rise to the depth of some other tracks on the album.
10. “Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus“
This album is like a stream of consciousness let loose into the world of music, and “Chloe or Sam or Sophia and Marcus” is the perfect embodiment of what Taylor is trying to accomplish. The singer launches directly into her tragic soliloquy and brings every verse crashing down harder than the one before it on the heads of the unsuspecting audience.
9. “I Hate It Here“
“I Hate It Here” is another perfect blend of the stream-of-consciousness trope with rhymes that could make poets weep. I’m already anticipating the release of instrumental versions for some of these songs, because as amazing as “I Hate It Here” is in the lyrical sense, the melody is also mesmerizing.
8. “The Black Dog“
“The Black Dog” is most probably referring to Joe Alwyn, once again highlighting the crushing weight of overbearing sadness she felt when the two broke up after a six-year relationship. The way Taylor uses high notes in this track to drive home her message turns it into one of the most iconic tracks in Tortured Poets.
7. “The Tortured Poets Department“
Titular song “The Tortured Poets Department” brings the whole album together by telling the tragic tale of two artists who meld and clash through a treacherous love affair.
6. “The Albatross“
Literary analogies have always been the cornerstone of Taylor Swift’s songwriting process, and that quality once again manifests itself through “The Albatross,” which uses the symbolic, ill-omened albatross as a tool to once again discuss the pitfalls of human interaction.
5. “Peter“
Why is “Peter” in the top 10? Because it has the best lyrics in The Tortured Poets Department. Taylor once tried to change the ending of “Peter losing Wendy” but this next tribute to the Boy Who Never Grew Up is one of acceptance, as heartbreaking as it turns out to be.
4. “The Bolter“
If you still retain any doubts about Swift being the best songwriter out there, these last few songs on our list will hopefully douse them forever. “The Bolter” is an overwhelming barrage of words and verses, and it may take you more than a dozen listens to fully appreciate its subtleties and nuances.
3. “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys“
Even if Swift gives up on melodies altogether and simply releases an album that’s a pamphlet of poems (and this one came pretty close), there is always going to be a catchy banger to more than make up for it in the long haul. “My Boys Only Breaks His Favorite Toys” is that track, and Taylor’s vocalizations throughout, free of coherent words, essentially make up the song by harmonizing a story of their own.
2. “So Long, London“
“So Long, London” is a tragic hymn for lost love, but its most striking quality is Taylor’s enthralling voice. Play a few songs from the 2006 debut album or even Fearless and then compare it to this track to realize just how far Taylor has come. You might even be able to fool someone into thinking these are two different singers.
1. “loml“
Fans initially thought “loml” stood for “love of my life,” but they were in for a surprise when they actually listened to the song. If The Tortured Poets Department is about tortured artists, unspoken pain, and heartache of a kind that only music could hope to personify, then “loml” is that vain endeavor reaching a medium-shattering crescendo.
Published: Apr 19, 2024 03:04 pm