A woman drove three hours to see her friend’s baby, then learned the friend allegedly went back through nanny cam footage to time their conversation

Nanny cams are usually installed to keep watch over young children, not house guests. One woman says she plans never to visit her friend’s home again after her friend allegedly went back through months-old nanny cam footage to time her conversation, according to a Reddit post by u/Stock-Act1304 in r/AmItheAsshole. The discovery reportedly came to light during a recent disagreement between the two.

The visit apparently involved a three-hour drive to see her friend and the friend’s child after eight months apart. The woman says she spent hours with her friend, asking about the child and how her friend balanced work and parenthood. She says she also played with the child and helped entertain her during tummy time.

According to the poster, the conversation about her own job and marriage happened while the child napped. She felt these were natural topics, as her friend had apparently asked about them. However, the friend later said she had reviewed footage from the visit and found barely any mention of the child. The friend then allegedly called the poster a bad friend for focusing the conversation on life and work.

She says going back would mean counting every minute she talks

Learning that her friend allegedly timed her conversation on the nanny cam footage has left the woman uneasy about ever returning to that home. She feels any future visit would require her to monitor every word and count the minutes spent on specific topics. She does not want to feel like she is “walking on eggshells” around people she cares about.

She also says she feels hurt, since she made the effort to travel a long distance to reconnect, only to learn that her visit was apparently being scrutinized behind the scenes. Long trips to see someone don’t always end the way people hope, as one man found when he traveled 1,200 miles to meet a woman who turned out not to exist.

She says she understands the need for nanny cams to keep children safe, but draws the line at using that footage to evaluate guests. She acknowledged that she is not a perfect friend and said she would have been happy to focus more on the child or offer more support if her friend had asked directly.

Home cameras have become common in families with young children. A OnePoll survey conducted for Asurion found that 59% of parents have a Wi-Fi-enabled camera installed in their home, according to Newsweek. The same study reportedly found that 76% of parents use smart technology such as security cameras and video doorbells to keep an eye on their children.

Commenters on the post largely sided with the guest. One person commented, “NTA. Your friend pulled up months-old nanny cam footage to stopwatch your conversation after you drove three hours to visit them. Nanny cams are for child safety, not running secret behavioral audits on guests.”

Another person echoed this sentiment, saying, “Honey, they’re watching baby monitors and cameras for assessment, entertainment, & sport. Cut your losses, they’re off their rockers. NTA.” A third person advised, “Run away from this friendship.”

Footage doesn’t always tell the full story, either. One New York man learned that when he reported a building fire and the FDNY told him what he had actually seen. For now, the woman says she plans to avoid her friend’s home entirely rather than be watched and evaluated during what should be a casual visit.

The account comes solely from the poster, and her friend’s side of the story could not be verified.