A woman reclines her seat on her 13-hour flight. Then the man behind keeps pushing her seat: ‘They’ll harass a woman, but they’ll respect another man’

To recline or not to recline? Many travelers debate this question during flights. For Sarah McCoy (@sassaramcy), she says this dilemma turned into a heated confrontation on her 13-hour journey from Istanbul, Turkey, to Denver, Colorado, which she later shared on TikTok.

McCoy started her post with on-screen text: “Story time of the man behind me on my flight pushing my seat and calling me a b——.” During the wind-down period, McCoy reclined her seat. Almost immediately, the man behind her apparently shoved her seat and demanded she raise it. She said she refused, responding, “Don’t push my seat. She has hers reclined in front of me, so I am going to have mine reclined.”

The dispute continued and McCoy asked a flight attendant to intervene. Even with the attendant present, the man apparently persisted in shoving her seat. When McCoy explained that she wasn’t obligated to put her seat up – and that everyone had the right to recline – the man demanded the flight attendant tell the woman in front of McCoy to put her seat up too.

So…should I recline my seat?

With no resolution in sight, the man eventually switched seats with his wife, putting him behind McCoy’s boyfriend, whose seat was also reclined. This time, the passenger made no complaints. “Yup. They’ll harass a woman but they’ll respect another man. It absolutely upsets me,” McCoy remarked.

Airlines recognize that seating is a major concern for travelers. With rising costs and tighter budgets, airlines are understandably focused on boosting shareholder value – and seating is a key lever. Premium economy seats are now the most profitable on the plane, even surpassing business class. According to American Airlines, about half of their revenue comes from just 33% of seats. “Those 30% of seats are only going to grow in our fleet as reconfigurations and new aircraft deliveries continue,” said American Airlines CEO Robert Isom at a Morgan Stanley industry conference.

But the question remains—is it still socially acceptable to recline on a plane when seats and legroom have become smaller than ever? According to etiquette experts interviewed by travel website Travel + Leisure, yes, but there’s a catch,“It’s more than OK to recline in one’s plane seat. The aircraft wouldn’t have the option to recline if it wasn’t acceptable.”

“While only a slight adjustment in angle, it can make a huge difference, comfort-wise,” said Jo Hayes, an etiquette expert, consultant, and founder of EtiquetteExpert.Org.  Etiquette expert and author of “A Traveler’s Passport to Etiquette,” Lisa Mirza Grotts added that for long-distance flights, “reclining enhances added comfort for rest or sleep.” Both Grotts and Hayes agree there is a time and place to recline, and both say that the seat should not be reclined during meal service.