‘Are British people ok?’: Prince William’s future as King gets sidelined as his only crown is stolen by a 64-year-old

If the British Royal Family’s lousy PR network is to be believed, it will be many, many years before Prince William ascends the throne since King Charles — despite the very concerning and obvious odds — is expected to beat cancer. But while William was worrying about Prince Harry being the thorn in his path to the title, he lost the only crown he should have easily won.

What further adds insult to injury is the fact that the usurper is a 64-year-old man who swooped in for the second time in a row while William was probably busy gloating over getting what could have been Harry’s if a) he had not stepped down as a senior royal and b) wasn’t getting pushed away by his father.

But poor William can’t really complain — even the man whom Zendaya chose has been pushed to the second spot.

The mystery trophy here was the crown of being the U.K.’s sexist man and the man who – to the astonishment of many mind-boggled souls — nabbed first place for the second time is Jeremy Clarkson, TV presenter and journalist currently known for his successful docu-series, Clarkson’s Farm on Amazon Prime Video.

So, what earned Clarkson this famed honor where he managed to bypass the likes of Tom Holland (who came in second), Prince William, Idris Elba, and Cillian Murphy in the annual poll conducted by IllicitEncounters, which likes to present itself as “the best online dating site for married people?” What made 2,000 of its female members vote for Clarkson?

As per Jessica Leoni (via Evening Standard), spokesperson at Illicitencounters.com, the combo of his farm and personality deserves the credit.

“Clarkson and his farm is a bit like Noah’s ark and just like the animal’s in that story, his victory in the Sexiest Man vote has come in twos. We all know about his brash persona, but the latest series of Diddly Squat has shown he can tug at heartstrings too — and clearly his famer look continues to set hearts racing.”

Yes, there has been some difficulty digesting Clarkson’s win, given the names he beat to get the top rank (for the second time), but somehow the one name conjuring the most disbelief is Prince William’s presence in the list, and that too at number three.

For fans of Prince William — who couldn’t figure out whether to be furious or elated when he topped the list of Sexiest Bald Men 2023 — this is definitely a huge step-down. After all, he is a member of the Royal family, the future king, and as presented by the palace, well-liked by the masses. He would have thought that all this would be enough for him to edge out competition. But hey, at least he didn’t have to worry about beating Harry to be in the top 10 list.