Husband fathers three kids with wife but refuses to speak to her for 20 years. The reason? He was ‘jealous’

A father had not spoken to his wife for so long that a TV show had to intervene and give them a fresh start after a twenty-year silent treatment. 

It’s hard to really put into words how long two decades without a conversation is. It’s even harder to decide which is more surprising: that they stayed married throughout those twenty years or that they went on to have a third child. In fact, according to Yahoo, by the time their son Yoshiki turned 18, he had never truly seen them have a conversation.

The couple is from Japan, the once strong US ally. The husband, Otou Katayama, had chosen not to speak to his wife and never actually gave her a reason. He simply responded to her requests and conversations through grunts and nods. And when his wife Yumi tried her best to figure out what the problem was, Otou never gave her an answer.

One morning, without explanation, their son, Yoshiki, decided to reach out to a reality TV show on TV Hokkaido to quash their issue. Luckily for them, reality TV shows in Nara, South Japan aren’t quite as sensational as prime Jerry Springer. The producers of the show genuinely wanted to see a resolution.

The producers planned their date in the park where the two had first met many years ago. Katayama had no idea at the time, but it wasn’t just them. They were fitted with microphones, and their reunion was broadcast to the entire nation. Just about everyone tuned in, including their children.

Katayama confessed to Yumi that the reason he stopped talking to her was jealousy. He explained that when they had their first two children, he felt her attention had shifted entirely to them and that she had stopped seeing him. He acknowledged that he took his sulking too far and apologized.

It’s easy to judge him — it sounds rather petty. But perhaps if he had felt it was an unjustifiable reason, he would have spoken earlier. The act of being jealous of one’s own children is something psychologists have long studied, hoping to equip us with tools to coexist better. It’s also slowly creeping into pop culture. In Leonardo DiCaprio’s latest movie, One Battle After Another — a break from his usual historical dramas — one of the main themes is a mother who feels her partner loses interest in her as soon as she has a child.

Katayama told his wife, “Somehow, it’s been a while since we talked. You were so concerned about the kids. Yumi, up until now, you have endured a lot of hardship. I want you to know I’m grateful for everything.” And the audience of the show openly wept.

Katayama’s vow of silence wasn’t entirely justified. You generally shouldn’t hold a grudge that long — especially against your wife, even if she had done something wrong, which wasn’t even the case here. But there was something admittedly sweet about the fact that they both were unable to leave the relationship even when it wasn’t so rosy.