There’s been so many Marvel Cinematic Universe, and because of that, so many villains. There’s many different kinds among them. You have giant purple alien men, angry robots, bad dads, full-on Nazis, and bald men compensating.
We know which Marvel heroes would be a great mate to you, but which villain would be the best boss? What kind of bosses would they be? Which ones are inviting you to the Christmas party at the end of the year?
Loki
Spends half of his time in the office being pulled up by HR for playing very bad office jokes, and quickly gained a reputation for then completing flicking the switch and yelling at an intern. Makes up for it by buying the whole team coffee. Invites everyone to a Christmas party, but all the food is wax.
Ultron
Driven, has learnt about humanity entirely from the internet, and has the voice of James Spader. Ultron would just become a mixture of Michael Scott and Robert California from The Office, but constantly play off his attempts to completely obliterate humanity as an epic funny joke. Uses a dot matrix computer to invite everyone to the office Christmas party.
Red Skull
Working for a Nazi? That’s pretty yikes and definitely not cool in 2021. Do better, Red Skull. Only invites other hysterical Nazi scientist sterotypes to the office Christmas party. Very good news for the one edgy kid in the office who’s been watching too many YouTube videos about wokeness ruining the world.
Yellowjacket
Would micromanage you to death, constantly talking about how he keeps losing his test sheep and asking you to come in on weekends because he misplaced his tiny keys and needs someone to help look for them. Christmas party involves pin the very very very tiny tail on the stupidly large donkey.
Vulture
Kind of boss who shares pictures of his kids where you have to respond as if you care. Like yeah I get it chief, you’ve got kids in high school and you’re so proud of their grades. Nobody cares, Adrian mate. Invites everyone to the Christmas party, but stresses everyone brings their family.
Ronan the Accuser
He’s not really the boss. He’s just the boss’s assistant who really does most of the work. Constantly making enemies, but absolutely not skilled enough to challenge any of them. Dies tragically when Jimmy the intern invites him onto the dancefloor.
Thanos
Thanos is the kind of bloke who’s a good boss, like he’s driven and nice enough, but madly intense. A quick two minute watercooler discussion becomes a ten minute one. Will endeavor to learn about everything in your personal life, because he sees all his employees as his own children. Only invites half the office to the Christmas party.
Zemo
Plans immensely elaborate team building exercises throughout the year which tend to rip the team apart from the inside. Probably has a strained relationship with his family which he blames on everyone in the office not working hard enough. The office Christmas party just becomes an elongated lecture and there’s no food or drink supplied.
Malekith
Yeah, nah. I can’t even remember a thing about him.
Ego
Constantly going on about how he sees great things in you and that you have immense untapped potential. Always has good Dad jokes. Probably sees you as his surrogate son after his recent divorce which resulted in him not being able to see the kids anymore. Spends the office Christmas party just talking about the mad stuff he got up to in his 20s.
Published: Dec 20, 2021 11:01 pm