President-elect, felon, and adultery enthusiast Donald Trump has wasted no time picking cabinet candidates for his second administration, bringing about gasps, heavy swears, and other outcries from the sensible population. These selections will go through a Senate approval process after being nominated, whereupon if approved, they’ll take up the highest positions in the U.S. government alongside President Trump. To make matters worse, Trump has gone out of his way to choose the most controversial people in politics, because of course he has.
Are you terrified? We are. Are you also a little bit numb and punchy, with an undercurrent of rage, yet a mystifying twinge of morbid curiosity? Girl, same.
So here’s a rundown of who has been nominated so far, as well as their concerning origin stories. This is Trump’s cabinet, ranked in order of what we’re calling “evilness,” from merely alarming, to full-on nightmare fuel.
14. Susie Wiles as chief of staff
Trump wants Wiles as his Chief of Staff. She was one of his two campaign managers and has been a quiet but effective presence in his camp since his 2016 ticket.
There are some people who hope Wiles will bring a bit of order and maturity to Trump’s administration after his chaotic first term. Ah, the old adage of relying on a motherly figure to tamper the boisterousness. We’ll see how that goes.
Wiles is a dark horse we have few personal details about. We do know, according to a report by ProPublica, that Wiles was present when “Trump allegedly went beyond improperly holding onto classified documents and showed them to people lacking proper security clearances.” Okay, so Wiles is obviously ride or die for Trump, and possibly operates at least slightly outside the law, so she’s not entirely blameless for our present insomnia.
13. Tulsi Gabbard as director of national intelligence
Trump confirmed Tulsi Gabbard will take over as director of national intelligence. Gabbard is a former Democratic representative who was critical of Biden and left the party in 2022 to become purportedly independent.
“Donald Trump must be defeated. Another four years of him as president would be a disaster,” she said in 2020. Huh. Also, she has no intelligence experience. It’s thought that her anti-elitist stance is why she was picked. However, Gabbard believes and repeats a lot of mis- and disinformation and may be a full-blown Russian spy, which seems …not great?
12. Elise Stefanik as the United Nations ambassador
Republican New York congresswoman Stefanik will become the United Nations ambassador. Betraying her origins as a moderate, girlboss Republican with a blog called “American Maggie,” named after Margaret Thatcher, she swerved right to catch MAGA fever. She replaced Liz Cheney in the House of Representatives when the latter was pushed out for disagreeing with Trump’s election fraud claims in 2021, and infamously blamed Nancy Pelosi for the attack on the capitol on Jan 6.
She will represent Trump’s bold claims of ending international conflicts including the wars between Russia and Ukraine, and Israel and Gaza. A lot rests on Stefanik’s shoulders, and given that she’s avowedly pro-Israel, and in Trump’s Putin-centered orbit, it seems likely that the U.S.’s international credibility will continue to devolve into absolute tatters, as thousands continue to suffer.
11. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as Health Secretary
In one of the most baffling moves of Trump’s second administration so far, he has chosen RFK Jr. to lead the nation’s public health. The vaccine skeptic is known for spreading misinformation, including saying that childhood immunizations cause autism. FactCheck.org has more than a few pages dedicated to his claims, which is always a good sign for a public official.
His goals include removing fluoride from public water systems and tackling what he and Trump call deceptive practices in the food and drug industries.
Kennedy has absolutely no qualifications that make him suitable for the post, which usually taps people with doctorates or ties to healthcare in some capacity. This man’s beliefs are anti-science, fear-mongering, and dangerous. But he’s kind of beefy, and some republicans think that’s enough.
10. Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy as heads of the Department of Government Efficiency
Tech billionaire and X CEO Musk has been appointed as one of two heads of the Department of Government Efficiency. Musk cozied up to Trump at a rapid pace near the end of the election cycle. We’re sure no ulterior motives were at play.
Former Republican presidential candidate Ramaswamy joins him in the newly-created branch. Trump claimed they will minimize red tape, cut regulations, and reduce bureaucratic waste.
Putting the richest man in the world, who owns a social media platform that’s stifling good-faith debate, and pharma bro Ramaswamy into government positions because they endorsed you is egregious. But what else did we expect?
9. Marco Rubio as secretary of state
Senator Marco Rubio, if approved, will be secretary of state. Known for his staunch position on foreign policy, he and former adversary Trump align, or at least they do now, on the U.S. being too involved in costly geopolitical affairs. Rubio is known for bipartisan legislation like the banning of Chinese-based apps like TikTok in the U.S. He has a legal background as an attorney.
And he’s pretty hard-hearted. His most recent scandal came when he told pro-Palestine protestors that he was against a ceasefire, and that Israel should “destroy every element of Hamas they can get their hands on.” He asked the protestors to post the video, and called them “liars” when they claimed Israel is responsible for 32,000 deaths in the region.
His inability to hold his tongue in an impromptu moment with a camera in his face is a little concerning, as was his body language in the video, which teetered on aggressive in the last seconds.
8. Lee Zeldin as EPA administrator
Trump has appointed former congressman Zeldin as the new administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency. Zeldin served in Congress from 2015 to 2023. He lost the New York governor race to Democrat Kathy Hochul in 2022, and is a vocal Trump supporter.
Trump promised major changes to energy policy. The goal is to improve U.S. oil and gas output by removing some legislation and making permit applications more efficient. Zeldin scored some ecological points earlier in his career, particularly regarding Long Island Sound, but he opposes the Paris Accords, and gets a resounding raspberry from the Sierra Club, no less, and now promises the U.S. will enact “energy dominance.” So, the guy in charge of protecting the environment will work for a president who wants to harm it in the name of capitalism? Way to sell us down a river during a climate crisis, Lee.
7. Mike Waltz as national security advisor
Republican representative Waltz is a retired, decorated military man and a China critic. He was a vocal distractor of Joe Biden’s administration, particularly concerning the 2021 withdrawal from Afghanistan.
He believes we’re in a cold war with China, and is far from the only one to think so. Fittingly, he’s on the House China Task Force, a group created to address relations with the country and assess any threats.
This role doesn’t require Senate approval and will see Waltz brief Trump on national security while collaborating with other branches of government. That is if he can stop thinking about China for a few seconds to address other, more immediate, threats.
6. John Ratcliffe as CIA director
Trump picked former director of national intelligence Ratcliffe as the new director of the Central Intelligence Agency. Ratcliffe is a former prosecutor and congressman who is a divisive figure in intelligence.
He has also been criticized for allowing his Trump loyalty to interfere with his role, which was meant to be apolitical. Though he promised to keep his personal beliefs from politicizing his job, most would agree that didn’t happen. He even made statements that directly contradicted the intelligence community’s public positions.
During his time in Congress, he was perceived as one of the most conservative members. Trump opting for him, as well as the others on this list, speaks to how little the President cares to hear from over the aisle.
5. Tom Homan as director of Immigration and Customs Enforcement
Trump announced Homan, the acting director of Immigration and Customs Enforcement during his first presidency, will again take charge of the borders. The former police officer (no shock there) confirmed his top priority is deporting immigrants living illegally in the U.S. His record is extremely off-putting, and he was one of the biggest supporters of separating children from their parents during Trump’s first administration.
He’s been immigrant-focused since the 1980s when he served as a border patrol agent. If Trump is looking for people to help “build the wall” so to speak, he doesn’t have to look far.
4. Kristi Noem as Secretary of Homeland Security
Noem is one of the most controversial names on this list. It’s not because of any of her ideology about human issues, but rather the fact she openly admitted she shot her out-of-control dog after it killed her neighbor’s chickens and bit her.
Her aesthetic is very wholesome, and her social media accounts push that narrative, but her actions and allegiances speak to a different type of personality. At this point, just own the fact you’re ferocious — people would likely have a little more respect if you could admit it.
Trump has chosen her as the governor of South Dakota as his Secretary of Homeland Security according to CNN. You’d think even the most egregious politicians would be concerned about optics but apparently not. You can make wild headlines about putting your pet down with your own firearm and still ascend the ranks.
3. Pete Hegseth as Secretary of Defense
The new potential Secretary of Defense, Hegseth, doesn’t believe in washing his hands. During COVID-19, the Fox & Friends Weekend co-host claimed he hadn’t washed his hands in 10 years.
Hegseth comes from an Ivy League and military background. He graduated from Princeton University in 2003 before becoming an infantry officer in the National Guard.
He also came under fire in early Nov. 2024 for saying “I’m straight up just saying we should not have women in combat roles.” He believes women make “fighting more complicated” and are “ineffective” in military roles.
While most women don’t possess the sheer physical strength men do, there are countless women serving in the military in countless occupations. His broad assessment lacks nuance and screams “Pick me, Trump!”
2. Matt Gaetz as Attorney General
Trump nominated Congressman Gaetz as his pick for attorney general, despite the fact Gaetz is a named subject in a sex trafficking investigation. “It will be an honor to serve as President Trump’s Attorney General!” he wrote on X.
Marjorie Taylor Greene praised this choice. You know you’ve done something terrible when she agrees. Gaetz is loyal to Trump, so the Department of Justice’s ongoing investigation is no deterrent.
To be clear, Gaetz has not been proven guilty yet. Regardless, even some republicans are bewildered by Trump’s risk tolerance in this choice. If things go south for Gaetz over the course of the next few months, it’s going to get messy. Will Trump be held accountable for letting an alleged potential sex predator into high office? Unlikely.
1. Stephen Miller as Homeland Security Adviser and Deputy Chief of Staff for Policy
Miller was Trump’s senior advisor during his first term and one of the minds behind controversial immigration policies, including the cruel family separation program. While Trump took the brunt of the left’s media onslaught for the policy, Miller quietly worked behind the curtain making it a reality.
Trump confirmed his appointment to House Deputy Chief of Staff for Policy, and the additional Homeland Security adviser role, on Nov. 13. This guy literally tears families apart, which is cruel regardless of any immigration rule-breaking. Congratulations, Stephen. Your prize: absolutely nothing but our ire.