‘But your sister is engaged to a literal pedophile’: Donald Trump’s future AG Matt Gaetz a ‘predator’ for his sister-in-law, siced a ‘creepy old man’ to hit on the 19yo

Imagine waking up one day to discover that Matt Gaetz is about to become your brother-in-law. Yes, you read that right. Bring out the barf bags, and while you’re at it, someone please pass the brain bleach because this is one image I’d like to scrub clean.

Having Gaetz at family barbecues, passing the potato salad while pontificating about his latest escapades with minors? That’s a hard pass. I’d rather volunteer for a tooth extraction without anesthesia or listen to nails on a chalkboard for 24 hours straight than have to call this guy “family.” For Roxanne Luckey, the sister of Gaetz’s fiancée, Ginger Luckey, however, this soul-crushing nightmare is her waking reality. And let’s just say, she’s probably fantasizing about being abducted by Lauren Boebert’s underwater aliens.

The Republican congressman from Florida, is well, still the same old Matt — despite his perverse obsession with Botox that leaves him looking like a perpetually surprised mannequin. The Justice Department had been all up in his grill, investigating his alleged involvement in sex trafficking and preying on underage girls. In case you weren’t paying attention — if the allegations against Gaetz turn out to be true, he’d be a certified pedophile. Sadly, now that Gaetz is on the verge of snagging the coveted role of America’s next Attorney General, it seems he’s got a “get out of jail free” card tucked in his back pocket.

While Gaetz is clearly trying to wriggle out of the net of his own making, Roxanne is having none of it, even if she is not actively pursuing exposing her brother-in-law. Resurfaced clips from Gaetz’s sister-in-law are now making waves on X. In one video, she dances to Lana Del Rey’s “Jealous Girl” with a headline about Gaetz’s alleged misdemeanors as her backdrop.

She quips about dodging advances from “creepy old men” while her sister is engaged to someone who might just be a “literal pedophile.” In another video, Luckey corrects her terminology from “pedophilia” to “ephebophilia”— attraction to mid-to-late adolescents. Apparently, that makes it so much better, right? Wrong. It’s still all shades of messed up.

Roxanne also revealed that Gaetz had the unmitigated gall to pressure a 40-year-old man to hit on her when she was just 19. When she confronted Gaetz about this “weird and creepy” behavior at a family gathering, he allegedly went full-on, rabid lawyer mode, belligerently yelling at Roxanne and her mom, calling her a narcissist, and engaging in some Olympic-level gaslighting, while stressing “I don’t have to listen to you, I don’t have to answer your questions.'” Charming fellow, isn’t he? About as charming as a cactus suppository. It doesn’t end there. Luckey also paints a portrait of Gaetz as D.C.’s resident old guy at the club, infamous for “prowling after college girls.”

“I saw the character and type of person he is, and when everything came out about him, I honestly, unfortunately, was not surprised,” Roxanne said. In a follow-up video, Luckey and her friends dropped some not-so-subtle hints about Gaetz’s alleged infidelity, with not-so-subtle lyrics about his disgusting ways.

Let’s be honest — it probably took an astronomical amount of courage for Roxanne to speak out against her sister’s fiancé, and her fiercely protective instincts are on full display in these videos. The fact that she’s willing to publicly call out Gaetz’s abhorrent behavior, even at the risk of nuking her relationship with her sister, is nothing short of commendable. On the other hand, Ginger Luckey seems to have a starkly different, almost willfully oblivious perspective on the matter. As reported by Vanity Fair, in a text message, she coldly referred to Roxanne as her “estranged sister” who is “mentally unwell” and has a history of engaging in “destructive behavior.” 

Ginger’s cheerleading on the sidelines for her man is the kind of tragic romance that makes you think, “Maybe single life isn’t so bad.” As Roxanne churns out video after video, Ginger is busy on social media, painting her soon-to-be hubby as the next big thing in American politics.

Will Matt ever strut into a squeaky-clean future? Oh, honey, please. But then again, if RFK Jr., the self-styled science sage who thinks chemicals in the water are orchestrating a sexual orientation switch, can be picked as Grand Poobah of Health, and Trump can waltz back into the White House for an encore, then truly, anything is possible in this wild world of politics.