Donald ‘gag order’ Trump had a surprising Bible moment during his call to ‘Make America Pray Again’

One of the most frustrating things about Christian support for Donald Trump is the fact that he’s so blatant in his sinning.

There’s the endless lust that has led to him cheating on multiple wives countless times (and has now led to one of his many current legal snafus, thanks to the hard work of Stormy Daniels). He’s constantly hoovering up money and stiffing people who have worked with him like a greedy little vacuum, reportedly has an awful diet that even the worst glutton might think was a bit much, and is constantly boasting about himself, which is the very definition of prideful. To be fair, most of his claims are lies, so perhaps in the eyes of God, he falls on the safe side (but let’s not hold our breath).

Then there’s the fact that he’s incredibly think-skinned, lashing out in a wrathful way at the slightest provocation, and famously wakes up late to watch television in bed, which most would consider pretty slothful. Add in his clear envy towards the respect certain figures get that he doesn’t (especially Barack Obama) and we have all seven deadly sins neatly rolled up into one alleged rapist and former president.

Yet despite being the very antithesis of a wholesome Christian ⏤ and being born with a gold-plated spoon in his mouth ⏤ the rural religious right can’t get enough of the son of a millionaire from New York. This, for Trump, means a whole flock of suckers to grift. His latest way of sucking money from his heavily propagandized fan base? Endorsing a $60 Bible that’s been produced by Country Singer and Republican stalwart Lee Greenwood, who famously wrote and sang “God Bless the USA.”

The God Bless the USA Bible will also include reproductions of famous American political and legal texts, like the Bill of Rights and the Constitution. These are two documents that Trump might have read once in school, but is unlikely to have perused over during his presidential term, wherein he managed to show their lack of power by running roughshod over the rule of law, culminating in the attempted insurrection at the Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021. In a rambling three-minute long video posted to his safe space of Truth Social, Trump did his usual trick of endlessly repeating himself, covering such key topics as the fact that America has “lost religion,” that by bringing it back, the country will become great again, and that the Bible was a “beautiful book” that he counts among his favorites. (We’re assuming he casually missed the section about “love thy neighbor,” among others.)

Trump has repeated the Bible claim many times previously, but when quizzed about his favorite passage or book, he’s failed to give an answer. This time, however, he did manage one positive surprise (as compared to the last time he was famously pictured with a Bible): he was able to hold the book right side up this time around. (Collective gasp!) This might be because he was actually being paid for this post, and we all know how much he needs money right now, so he had to get it right. Either that or there were multiple takes in the filming of this particular video.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a video from a famous Republican if it didn’t baselessly stoke fear among his increasingly radicalized base. Trump referenced how Christians are under siege and need to protect pro-God content, culminating in him telling his followers that they could “not allow the media or the left-wing groups to silence, censor, or discriminate against us.” Ironically, Trump is currently being censored in a way, although not quite for the noble reasons he would claim. A New York judge has just imposed a gag order on him, which in theory should limit him from making statements about any potential witnesses in one of his many upcoming criminal trials. This specific order relates to the case around hush money payments the former president made for various very un-Christian-like acts.

For the uninitiated, he’s charged with falsifying business records that came about as a result of reimbursements to his former lawyer, Michael Cohen, for hush money payments made to adult film star Stormy Daniels. He also cheated on his wife with Daniels, but at least he paid her and it was consensual. This is more than can be said for much of Trump’s sexual history, which is littered with tales of violence and assault. Trump has pleaded not guilty and claims he didn’t have an affair, but much like the Bibles he’s trying to sell, it’s probably best to take his stories with all the salt in the Dead Sea.