‘Dude she’s never that prepared!’: MAGA morons insist Kamala only won the debate because of her secret electronic earrings

She came, she saw, she conquered. Kamala Harris and her staff can pop open some champagne after last night’s debate. Expectations couldn’t have been higher: Trump is a tricky debate opponent, Harris has previously been vague about policy, as veep she didn’t distinguish herself as an orator, and lingering in the background was Biden’s nightmarish failure in June.

But Harris knocked it out of the park. She was cool, clear, direct, knew exactly how to goad Trump into saying dumb things, and reacted to his more doom-laden claims with the laughter they deserve. The post-debate consensus is that she steamrollered him, with even some Trump supporters admitting their guy didn’t have a great night.

However, the real proof Kamala won the debate is that die-hard MAGA conspiracy theorists are freely admitting she won, but only because she was secretly being fed lines through her special earrings:

When there’s an inane conspiracy in the air Alex Jones is inevitably on the case. Hey, at least he’s not lying about a school shooting to sell magic brain pills!

To be specific, the straw these idiots are grasping is that Harris was wearing NOVA H1 Audio Earrings, described on their Kickstarter as: “The first and only wireless earphones embedded in a pair of pearl earrings on a gold- or silver-plated clip.” As the company explains: “Women wear their earrings all day long, but to date, they only served decorative purposes. Why not include high-tech audio in there?”

At first glance, Harris’ debate earrings look somewhat similar to the NOVA H1’s. But you don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to look a little closer and realize that they are in fact, not remotely the same:

Moreover, Kamala has worn these earrings in public many times before (and rightly so, they’re really nice earrings), including at events before the NOVA H1’s were even released.

However, presenting unambiguous facts to conspiracy lunatics rarely works. After all, perhaps we’re in on the conspiracy too? So if for some reason you believe this inane drivel, maybe think for a second about whether it would even make sense to risk wearing an earpiece during a presidential debate.

It’s explicitly against the rules and if either candidate was caught doing it their opponent would justifiably mock them as a cheater and a coward right up until polling day (not to mention they would be considered to have automatically lost the debate).

For another, if Harris was inclined to cheat why would she wear an earpiece in the ear that she knows will face the camera? Whatever your opinion of Harris’ intelligence, if her team wanted to cheat they would surely have gone about it in a far sneakier manner.

And, finally, having someone remotely feeding you lines from an earpiece would be a distraction at such a crucial moment. Debate success comes from thinking on your toes and being able to respond quickly and succinctly to your opponent’s points, and having someone whispering in your ear means you can’t focus on that.

Ultimately this conspiracy proves only one thing. Kamala Harris demolished Donald Trump last night, leaving his die-hard MAGA devotees scrambling for some explanation as to how — even if it doesn’t make a lick of sense.