Much as I hate to feel even an atom of sympathy for Donald Trump, being stuck in a room with Elon Musk is a torture even he doesn’t deserve. I mean, say what you will about the President-in-waiting, but at least he’s not perpetually spouting memes that stopped being funny in the Obama administration.
But Trump has made his bed and now must lie in it. His election campaign relied heavily on Musk’s vast financial resources and social media network, but none of this was done out of the good of his heart. Musk is now expecting payback, having already been made the co-head of the “Department of Government Efficiency” (an efficiency department having two leaders is the funniest thing about it), and an influential position in the incoming government to ensure any EV competitors to Tesla are strangled in the crib.
Historically, Trump hasn’t thought much of Musk. In 2021, he took to Truth Social and was excoriating:
“When Elon Musk came to the White House asking me for help on all of his many subsidized projects, whether it’s electric cars that don’t drive long enough, driverless cars that crash, or rocketships to nowhere, without which subsidies he’d be worthless, and telling me how he was a big Trump fan and Republican, I could have said, “drop to your knees and beg,” and he would have done it.”
Now the tables have turned, with Musk effectively able to make Trump kneel at his whim. As such, Trump must be polite and tolerate his presence (doubtless through gritted teeth). According to Musk himself, he’s pretty much moved into Mar-a-Lago, is attending every meeting alongside Trump, is joining him for meals, and has dubbed himself the … urgh… “first buddy.”
For Trump, this must feel like some new and imaginative form of social sadism. He’s used to being able to quickly dismiss anyone he finds remotely displeasing, but Musk may as well surgically sewn to him at this point. Now, through gritted teeth, he’s opened up on getting him “out of here.”
As sure as the sun rises in the morning, Trump and Musk are due a titanic break-up. Both men have planet-sized egos, huge platforms, and very little self-control. All it’ll take is one imagined snub and they’ll be at loggerheads. Like many on social media, we’re here for it:
Dear Donald, we are confident you are going to make our lives a misery, destroy the ecosystem, promote the worst people on the planet to positions of power, say the most insanely offensive things on a daily basis, alienate America’s allies, and generally promote death and destruction. But, if you did us the solid of stuffing Elon Musk into one of his rockets and blasting him in the vague direction of Mars, even we’d give you a weak thumbs-up.
Now that you’re elected, Musk has outlived his usefulness and this pustule must be popped. It’d make you happy. It’d make us happy. C’mon! It’s a political win/win, no matter which side of the aisle you sit on!
Published: Nov 15, 2024 09:22 am