‘I wonder if you ran this by Trump first’: Coca Cola faces its ultimate nightmare as Make America Healthy Again knocks on its door

What started as a parody post from a Robert F. Kennedy Jr. fake X account has spiraled into one of the most unhinged diet sagas of the year.

Yes, turns out that mobile users couldn’t read the “parody” in the account name, so a community note was needed to clear things up. Fans of Diet Coke, already emotionally fragile from their caffeine dependency, panicked immediately. But once the panic settled down, the jokes came rolling in.

The problem here is not that the username was too long. The fake announcement might have been harmless fun, but RFK Jr.’s record of bizarre dietary takes made it almost believable. After all, this is the guy who rails against processed foods, trashes high-fructose corn syrup, and once called McDonald’s “poison.”

Let’s get one thing straight: RFK Jr.’s actual plans as Trump’s health secretary nominee don’t include banning Diet Coke or forcing Coca-Cola to swap out its corn syrup for cane sugar. RFK has accused Coca-Cola, McDonald’s, and their corporate friends of contributing to the obesity crisis and polluting the planet. Yet, there he was, fries in hand, sipping on a Coke while sitting next to Donald Trump — who, for the record, was working on a Filet-O-Fish, Big Mac, and a Fanta orange. Didn’t Trump say that he had a button that signaled staff that he wanted a Diet Coke?

The parody Diet Coke ban might’ve been fake, but the irony of RFK Jr. preaching healthy living while inhaling McDonald’s fries is very real. Sure, everyone deserves a cheat day, but when your whole brand is “Make America Healthy Again,” maybe try not to do it with a Coke in one hand and nuggets in the other.

Before you start stockpiling your favorite sodas, let’s break down the fizzy facts. Coca-Cola, like many sodas, is indeed a sugar bomb. It’s been linked to dental caries, obesity, and a host of other health issues.

Even if Kennedy does get the HHS gig, he’ll be facing some obstacles. Let’s not act like big food lobbyists will change RFK Jr.’s mind about making America truly healthy. Also, if this dude really plans on cracking down on carbonated sodas, that photo of him and Trump eating McDonald’s will not do him any favors.