Happy almost-Halloween, ghoulish gals and boo-loving bros! It’s your favorites scribes from We Got This Covered and we’re here to tell you that if you’ve been up to any devilish deeds this week, they don’t even compare to the epic face-plants Donald Trump and his goons have been experiencing.
While you were bobbing for eyeballs and practicing your best banshee screams, Trump publicly rocked a severe case of saggy elephant crotch and slipped into the most disturbing Halloween costume of all time. We wish we could say that the shenanigans stopped there, but this is the MAGA crowd we’re talking about, so it should come as no surprise that Donald’s detrimental mouth has once again gotten him into boiling-hot water. Meanwhile, his deeply deplorable crony Tucker Carlson had more than enough to say about ⏤ you guessed it ⏤ the importance of spanking underage girls “vigorously.” ‘Cuz that’s not the stuff of nightmares (or the definition of predatory behavior).
The creep show just keeps getting creepier, folks, but before you sharpen your claws for a wild night of mayhem and debauchery, let’s dive into some of the mind-bending tricks these clowns continue to substitute for actual intelligence ⏤ because if we’re being real, there aren’t any treats here, unless you count our ability to laugh at these foolish mortals. Come now, before dawn approaches ⏤ let’s cackle and cringe together!
A fashion expert breaks down why Trump’s suits are saggier than his neck skin
There is literally nothing appealing about the absolute disgrace that is Donald Trump, but somehow his suits make an already gag-worthy man more offensive to the eye. Perhaps in a bid to convince voters that the cowboy fireman fantasy etched onto all those Trump trading cards actually exists, the frequent felon exclusively wears exceedingly oversized suits when he’s not glammed-up for the golf course.
As a result of their “kid who raided his dad’s closet” appeal, Trump’s outfits are often saggy and wrinkled in all the wrong places, and a fashion expert was kind enough to explain exactly why that is. It’s largely got to do with fabric weight and Trump’s tendency to keep off his feet, but the result is giving droopy elephant skin and we’re gonna need him to pack up his pachyderm era immediately.
Dumpy Don tells on himself with ‘I have no cognitive’ slip
Trump is not a smart man, and it’s been clear for months now — years, really — that his cognitive decline has reached truly concerning levels. He was struggling to string sentences together in 2020, and by 2024 his brain has smoothed out like a river-pounded stone. No ridges or bumps left, just conspiracy theories, greed, and the undying need for power.
That need for power isn’t enough to make Trump into an electable candidate, unfortunately for him, and the 78-year-old recently stated as much for the world to hear. In yet another campaign blunder, the obstinate oldie slipped up and openly proclaimed, “I have no cognitive.” Just like that, the moment proved that honesty is possible from Trump, if only by accident.
To get the rest of the piping-hot tea, which this week includes Tucker Carlson’s bizarre spanking agenda, an Eminem smack-down, and Trump’s disturbing McDonald’s experience, be sure to sign up for WGTC’s They Said What?! Newsletter.
Published: Oct 25, 2024 11:25 am