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Lauren ‘I grope people, sue me’ Boebert says this was the ‘most embarrassing moment in U.S. history,’ and she doesn’t mean her public ‘Beetlejuice’ fondle

The real "most embarrassing moment" in U.S. history might just be the day Lauren Boebert was elected to Congress.

Lauren “Wandering Hands” Boebert, the gun-slinging, Twitter-ranting congresswoman from Colorado, seems to have a knack for confusing her own embarrassing moments with those of the nation.

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On the third anniversary of the heart-wrenching suicide bombing that snuffed out the lives of 13 U.S. service members during the tumultuous withdrawal from Afghanistan, Boebert once again unleashed her verbal ammunition at President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris. Like a glitchy NPC in a video game, she regurgitated the same stale talking points, conveniently sidestepping the fact that the withdrawal timeline was originally crafted by the Trump administration’s 2020 deal with the Taliban.

The Biden crew inherited this ticking time bomb of an agreement and was left with few options on how to defuse it. While they have owned up to missteps in the withdrawal’s execution, they have also justifiably highlighted that the stage for the chaotic curtain call was set long before they took the reins. But don’t hold your breath waiting for Boebert to concede this point; after all, it’s far less taxing to point fingers at the current administration than to admit that her beloved Donald Trump might have had a hand in this dumpster fire (we all know how much Boebert loves to kiss the ring of the MAGA king).

Now, circling back to Boebert’s bold assertion that the Afghanistan withdrawal was the “most embarrassing moment in U.S. history.” Apparently, her public grope-fest at a Beetlejuice musical didn’t qualify. In September 2023, Boebert got the boot from the show for copping a feel on an unsuspecting gentleman and shamelessly vaping in the theater. Her own son, Tyler, is currently facing a laundry list of charges related to car break-ins and thefts. And let’s not forget about her ex-husband, Jayson, who was recently arrested for assault and other charges stemming from domestic incidents.

It seems that even her own constituents are growing sick and tired of her shenanigans, with 55% of voters, according to a poll, declaring that she is “more focused on getting attention than getting things done.” Boebert barely squeaked by in the 2022 re-election, eking out a victory over her Democratic rival by a paltry 546 votes out of 327,000 cast. This hair-thin margin is a far cry from the landslide wins one would anticipate in a conservative stronghold like hers.

Instead of playing the blame game, perhaps she should focus on getting her own house in order and leave the complex foreign policy decisions to those who are actually qualified to make them. But who are we kidding? As long as there’s a lens and a live mic, Boebert will be front and center, ready to mortify herself and the nation she purports to serve.


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Omar Faruque
Omar is a seasoned writer specializing in all things entertainment. His approach to life and writing is the same: find the story in everything, and make sure to enjoy the ride. When not behind his keyboard, Omar is living his best life, whether that's channeling his inner superhero, trying to replicate anime recipes in his kitchen, or settling into his favorite coffee shop corner with a good book.