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Lauren ‘the earth is flat’ Boebert pauses UFO pondering to remind you she’s a tiny terror with Dory-level memory loss

Do NOT keep swimming, sweetie, let’s get you safely to shore.

Lauren Boebert
Photo by Kent Nishimura/Getty Images

As we head into an era in which Idiocracy looks like a step up, it’s beginning to dawn on Americans just how screwed we really are.

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Donald Trump is easily bad enough all on his own, but with the MAGA’s own cursed Fantastic Force riding his coattails to the White House, things are starting to look dire. As he taps his criminal bedfellows and spineless toadies for vital government positions, Colorado’s Lauren Boebert is working hard to get noticed. If you gave Boebert a penny for her thoughts you’d get change back, which actually makes her the perfect fit for the incoming Trump administration.

Boebert takes the party of insane conspiracies to a new low, with her brainless belief in underwater space aliens — yes, that’s a real thing — and her genuine belief that Democrats only seek power so they can seize the country’s guns, so no one will be surprised to learn that her pea-sized brain sports a truly record-breaking memory, and not in a good way.

Boebert seems to have suffered from a bit of short-term memory loss this week, as she and her fellow Trump henchmen revel in the unexpected red sweep. She rushed to X on Nov. 14 to declare that she, the MAGA agenda, and heartless conservative advocate Scott Presler are “undefeated,” apparently forgetting that they were soundly defeated in 2020.

Bobo, baby, I know your brain has the same capacity as a tube of travel-sized toothpaste, but try to stretch it back a mere four years to a pretty big moment in history. Donald Trump actually lost the 2020 election, remember? It kind of sparked this big moment in American politics, involving the Capitol? Ringing any bells?

Of course, Boebert is among the Trump groupies maintaining the big lie that the 2020 election was stolen, which provides exactly the broken logic she needs to claim the Republican party is “undefeated.” She and far too many MAGAs continue to deny the results of the 2020 election, despite rampant investigations proving its legitimacy, and they would be echoing that same rhetoric if he’d lost in 2024. If they lose, there is rampant election fraud, but if they win it, is the most honest, legitimate election this country has ever seen.

It’s a tired MAGA trope, at this point, and among the delusional masses who still think Donald Trump will be a good president, it’s becoming a trend. They’re riding high on his victory, and once they’re in charge of the history books — something they absolutely aim to do — Trump will have won in 2020. He’ll have won by a landslide, and the fake news simply refused to accept it.

This tendency to rewrite history is a classic tactic used by fascist leaders and corrupt nations, as they work to gaslight entire civilizations into believing “alternative facts” like Boebert’s “undefeated” claim. In the grand scheme of things, as Trump taps actual madmen and probable criminals to lead entire government departments, her statement is quite minor, but it’s a quiet threat. Boebert’s lies will gradually grow bigger and more damaging as she becomes bolder, and soon we’ll be learning that racism doesn’t exist in America, that slaves chose to work for their masters, that gay people are mentally ill, and that the Holocaust never happened. It’s just a matter of time.

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