MAGA now arguing God put Donald Trump on Earth ‘to bring that ballroom finally to stand where it needs to stand’

I don’t know about you, but if I never hear the word “ballroom” again, I’ll die a happy man.

It’s astonishing that despite every other horrible thing going on in the world, the President of the United States’ top priority is building a colossal, opulent ballroom for him and his insanely rich friends to party in.

Even die-hard MAGA are struggling to muster up much enthusiasm to defend Donald Trump‘s ridiculous pet project, with even the flimsy justification that it was privately funded blown out of the water by the revelation that making it secure enough to actually use will require an extra $1 billion of taxpayers’ money.

So perhaps it’s not a surprise that Trump’s biggest fans have pivoted to arguing that the ballroom is actually divinely ordained, and that God himself put Trump on Earth specifically to make it happen.

“Make thee a gilded ballroom!” – Book of Trump 6:14–16

Does this sound insane? Well, enter Trump acolyte and Christian author Eric Metaxas, who spoke at the “Rededicate 250” national prayer event and made a point of saying that Trump’s ballroom is all part of God’s plan:

I seem to have missed the Biblical prophecy regarding the establishment of the 1st Ballroom. pic.twitter.com/7WT16rz8bN

— Nate Pyle (@NatePyle79) May 17, 2026

“It’s hard to believe that it would take two centuries for the Lord to raise up a great man to bring that ballroom finally to stand where it needs to stand. It’s extraordinary. We only had to wait 200 years.”

Now, I know that God works in mysterious ways, but frankly, the Creator of All Things specifically deciding he wants a colossal gilded ballroom to be constructed at the very moment millions of American Christians are struggling to feed their families is a teeny bit too mysterious to be credible.

And anyway, when God orders something to be built, there’s usually a really good argument for it. It’s a little insulting to think that the same God who told Noah he needed to build a boat big enough to house two of every animal to survive a cataclysmic flood has now downgraded to working through a former reality TV host to build a ballroom!

Despite all this, we can only hope the ballroom is constructed. What better monument to Donald Trump’s greed, stupidity, and self-obsession could there possibly be than a billion-dollar gold-encrusted boondoggle paid for by swindling regular Americans?

Here’s hoping it stands for a thousand years so future generations can remember Donald Trump, one of the worst human beings to have ever walked the Earth.