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Not to ruin your day, but here’s Matt Gaetz cozying up to new Greek ambassador Kimberly Guilfoyle on a couch

Gaetz is going from greasy to Greece-y.

U.S. Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) speaks at a campaign rally for Republican presidential nominee, former U.S. President Donald Trump on October 12, 2024 in Coachella, California. Inset: Kimberly Guilfoyle speaks during preparations for the second day of the Republican National Convention at the Fiserv Forum on July 16, 2024 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Photos by Mario Tama/Andrew Harnik/Getty Images

As Donald Trump’s typically dunderheaded appointment for the next American Ambassador to Greece, Kimberly Guilfoyle is about to spend a lot of time around crumbling ruins. So it looks like she’s decided to prepare for her new job by hanging out with Matt Gaetz.

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The almost Attorney General is thankfully out of the running for his own job in Trump’s cabinet, thanks to his ever-deepening run-ins with the law forcing him to resign from Congress. If you thought that was the last time we were going to hear of the world’s most predatory Sesame Street puppet, however, then you were tragically mistaken. Gaetz hasn’t stopped attempting to keep himself relevant ever since, including joining Cameo (fancy having a man accused of sex trafficking and statutory rape wish you happy birthday? You’re in luck, it’ll only cost you $500!).

In his latest shameless bid for attention and to get him back in the sphere of influence, Gaetz has abandoned all dignity to suck it up to Guilfoyle as she prepares to head off to Greece. “Congratulations to the amazing [Kimberly Guilfoyle]!” Gaetz gushed in an egregious bit of butt-kissing. “Out next ambassador to Greece :).”

Proving he’s a totally normal human being and not at all the physical embodiment of the word “ick,” Gaetz posted his message along with a photo of he and Guilfoyle sitting on a sofa. Or, to put it more accurately, Guilfoyle awkwardly perches on the sofa while Gaetz takes up most of the space as he inexplicably attempts to pose like he’s on a tacky ’80s album cover.

It takes a lot to drum up any sympathy for a ghoul like Guilfoyle, but Gaetz is doing his best to manage it here. His post certainly reeks of him attempting to step into her ex Donald Trump Jr.’s shoes, seeing as her long-term engagement to the president-elect’s first son appears to be in tatters. Jerkass Junior made waves this week when he was spotted out and about with new lady friend Bettina Anderson, which appeared to cement those rumors that Guilfoyle was on the outs with the Trumps.

That was why it came as something of a shock when her would-be father-in-law then swiftly made her his Ambassador to Greece. Was this an apology for her fiancé getting caught cheating on her? That sounds a little too compassionate for the Donny we know and despise. Personally, I wouldn’t rule out Guilfoyle having some dirt on the family which she’s now threatening to deploy unless they give her a cushy job and a permanent European vacation. Clearly, whatever strings she’s pulling behind the scenes, Gaetz wants in on the action.

Honestly, these two D-grade Batman villains teaming up probably would make a lot of sense — it’s always important for a couple to share things in common, and for Guilfoyle and Don Jr. that was their mutual passion for far-right politics and total inability to say something intelligent. And, like Gaetz, Guilfoyle has faced her own sexual harassment allegations on multiple occasions. I’m all for these two spending more time on couches… but just not together and on the couch in a therapist’s office.

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