Donald Trump has long known that his fans are rubes who’ll buy anything with his name, face or signature on it. So far, we’ve seen the university that didn’t teach, the watch that insulted its owner and (most impressively) the casino that didn’t make money. Now we have a new future addition to this list: “Trump Mobile”.
Yup, President Trump and his family are launching a wireless provider, with everyone’s favorite failsons Eric and Don Jr unveiling the new business at Manhattan’s Trump Tower earlier today. Don Jr insisted that the Trump mobile service will “change the game” and promises “the highest levels of quality and service”. If so, that’d be a first for a Trump-branded product, so good for them for aiming high! But this isn’t just a data plan, as they plan to launch the “T1 Phone” in August.
📲Announcing Trump Mobile, a transformational, new cellular service designed to deliver top-tier connectivity, unbeatable value and all-American service for our nation’s hardest-working people.🇺🇸
— The Trump Organization (@Trump) June 16, 2025
Visit https://t.co/L8R8m1vvA9 to learn more. pic.twitter.com/rAPICObtKr
Trump, in the palm of your hand
Now, pause for a moment and imagine what a Trump-branded smartphone might look like. Got the picture in your head? Well, we can almost assure you that what you’re imagining is close to the reality, as this will be “a sleek, gold smartphone engineered for performance and proudly designed and built in the United States”.
The Trump T1 will be an Android phone “with 6.8-inch touch-screen with a 120 Hz refresh rate. The smartphone also has a “fingerprint sensor and AI Face Unlock”. I would also imagine it will come with TruthSocial and TruthTV pre-installed, perhaps with a special “What’s Trumpin’?” alert sound so you can be notified at the exact moment Dear Leader squirts his thoughts online.
We recently learned that North Korea has its own smartphone brand that comes pre-loaded with state monitoring and censorship software to ensure that its citizens toe the state line. Social media users drew quick comparisons between the two, pointing out that it’s a bit odd for a sitting President of the United States to have his own personally branded smartphone.
What in the North Korea is this!!!
— Jacob (@IamJacob_AOS) June 16, 2025
We can only wait and watch to find out whether the Trump T1 can compete alongside the latest iPhone, or if it’s a cheaply made piece of rubbish designed to be sold to gullible MAGA boomers who’d pay for a dog turd if you balanced a picture of Trump’s beaming face on the top of it. Either way, it’s going to be fun finding out!
Published: Jun 16, 2025 08:46 am