It’s only natural to want to spend as much time as possible in our partner’s company, so it’s all too easy to slip into getting jealous when they hang out with their friends without you. Especially if those friends are of the gender they’re attracted to. But, in classic AITA style, it can be hard to know whether you’re in the wrong or your partner is.
That’s the coupling conundrum facing TikTok user @blondebackpacker aka Caroline. So, her fiancé has a female best friend who Caroline tells us “isn’t straight.” She and the friend have always gotten along fine — Caroline thinks she’s “very cool” — so when her fiancé told her he was going bowling with his bestie Caroline thought nothing of inviting herself along. Her fiancé seemed a little put out by this, however, and said he’d have to check with his friend if that was OK.
Come bowling night, Caroline expected that she was coming until her fiancé admitted that she’s kind of not allowed as his friend would rather it be just the two of them. While she doesn’t spell it out in her video, it seems Caroline is now questioning the nature of her fiance’s relationship with his best friend and whether she’s his top priority or not.
Caroline genuinely seemed to be at a loss over whether she was in the wrong or not here, and going by the ratio of for and against comments on this video, it seems the verdict is: lighten up, honey! Many people were on the side of her fiancé and his friend simply wanting to hang out without Caroline inviting herself along.
Some approached the problem from the point of few of the best friend. “Not to be that person,” reads one comment, “but if I wanna hang out with my friends, I don’t want their partner tagging along unless I’m good friends with both.” Someone else handles things differently when they’re in Caroline’s position: “I’m the opposite lol. I automatically assume I’m not invited unless they tell me I’m invited. I think it’s rude to show up uninvited so I don’t do that back.” Lastly, someone else didn’t see how Caroline missed the obvious solution here: “If you wanna go bowling, make [separate] plans with UR friends.”
Having said that, many others are on Caroline’s wavelength and believe she’s every right to be expected an open invitation to every hang. “Ummm my fiancé tells people he ain’t coming without me lol.” Someone else agreed: “bowling is a date 100%.” Meanwhile, someone who knows exactly what it’s like to be the female bestie to a guy weighed in with their own take. “I’m a bestie of a guy. Whenever I asked him to hang I assumed his gf (now wife) would come too,” they wrote. “The girl is being problematic. YOU come first.”
Clearly, everyone’s got a different opinion on whether couples should spend all their time together or not. It is worth pointing out, though, that a recent study at the University of Denver found that 34% of couples that move in together before getting engaged break up. So there are obviously benefits to maintaining friendships and having other social outlets apart from your partner, lest your relationship — bowling pun incoming — end up in the gutter.
Published: Jun 25, 2024 09:32 am