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Image via @zillowtastrophe/TikTok

‘Can someone please wake me up when this part of the simulation is over?’: Myrtle Beach realtor gives us tour of ‘beach shacks’

The prices are preposterous.

South Carolina is known for the sun-drenched beaches, glamorous golf course and lavish waterfront residences, but Myrtle Beach is fast becoming known for the exorbitant prices in the area.

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TikTok realtor zillowtastrophes showcases overpriced and insane property listings from Zillow in the U.S. From a crazy-themed house that looked to be straight out of Pirates of the Caribbean, to a literal wall selling for $50,000, her account looks at the worst the property site has to offer. She’s also known for her videos in which she uses AI to create the “average” house. Her latest TikTok looks at two insanely overpriced beach shacks on the aforementioned Myrtle Beach.

Now, you have to ask yourself, what would you pay for two small beach shacks on one of the fanciest seafronts on the U.S. coast? Was it anywhere near the asking price of $1,800,000? Because that’s what two tiny beach huts by the sea would set you back in this hellscape of a computer simulation we’re all trapped in.

@homes.tastrophes

Replying to @connor clary lets see some business plans to make this math work 💰🏖️ $1,800,000 0 bd 1 ba 528 sqft 5730 N Ocean Blvd, Myrtle Beach, SC 29577 myrtlebeach beachhouse realestate zillowtastrophe zillowing dayatthebeach

♬ Cute mischief, scheming (loop) – The Penguin

Zillowtastrophes did the math too, it works out at $3400 per square foot. And things only get worse. There are a handful of beach huts along Myrtle Beaches “Golden Mile,” with the surrounding buildings selling for much less these two. When looking at the selling history of the huts, the TikToker pointed out that the two in question sold for around $400,000 three years ago. 

There’s also not a lot you could do with the lot itself as right behind the property is a row of multimillion-dollar homes.

“I would bet those multimillion dollar homes behind them would have something to say about you building on this lot.”

Perhaps you think that the asking price could maybe be justified if the huts had some basic amenities and maybe that would be true if they did. They do not. In fact, one of the two doesn’t even have running water and you have to step outside and walk across to the other hut just to get a glass of water.

Between the two huts, neither has a bedroom, either, so you won’t be able to actually stay in the hut for a night, or even rent it out on Airbnb.

“I don’t know how big of a bed you could fit in here, but maybe twin bunk beds?”

Essentially, you’d be paying $1.8 million for the ability to watch TV, use a toilet and have a shower with the beach outside your window. Just remember, you have to go home at the end of the day because there is no bed there.

“My mind immediately went to selling tickets on the beach to use my shower.”

It’s hard to believe that this is the nightmare world we’re living in now. Maybe the only solution is to join Zillowtastrophe and just sleep until this part of the simulation is over.


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Author
Image of Jordan Collins
Jordan Collins
Jordan is a freelance writer who has been featured in a number of publications. He has a Masters in Creative Writing and loves telling that to anyone who will listen. Aside from that he often spends time getting lost in films, books and games. He particularly enjoys fantasy from The Legend of Zelda to The Lord of the Rings.