‘Chaos is my name’: The Tequila Mile is the nightmare race you don’t want to be a part of

The majority of twentysomethings today can easily tell you the alcohol that they can no longer drink thanks to…. too much exposure to it, in the nice way to put it. For some, it’s the cinnamon tang of Fireball. For others, it’s the burning sensation of vodka. But for so many young adults, even the thought of tequila is enough to throw their stomachs in knots. Maybe that’s why this TikTok involving running with tequila on your stomach is making us sick.

In a post from user @swartzcenter, a group of his friends participated in the unofficial “Tequila Mile” race. The idea of combining alcohol and running isn’t brand new, as many professional runners have participated in the “Beer Mile,” which involves drinking a 12oz or 355ml can of beer every quarter mile on a mile-long track. Based on Tyler’s video, it seems the rules are similar, as the runners need to do a shot of tequila before every lap, and the race is four laps.

While the basic rules are simple to understand, the penalty/reward rules are downright evil. As the presenter in the video shares, if you throw up at all, you have to add a penalty lap to your race. But if you eat a taco during your lap, you’ll get 30 seconds shaved off your time. With eight contestants brave enough to face the music, how did they fare? By the end, nearly every runner was drunk, and everyone either had thrown up or felt like they were going to.

The participating members are all part of Team Joy Ride, a group of runners based in Brooklyn whose mission statement, according to their TikTok, is to make “running fun one joy ride at a time.” It’s clear they’re all experienced runners, as the winner of the Tequila Mile still ran a mile in 5:25 despite the handicap. Even through the suffering, everyone seems in good spirits about the activity.

Similar to the group, the comments were also loving every second of the disastrous race. “Chaos is my name and pain is my game,” chimed in one commenter. Another commenter is also coming up with their next idea: “But have you attempted the Fireball 5k??” A large part of the commenters want in on the next Tequila Mile, so only time will tell if the insane run will get a sequel.