‘Cruel and unusual punishment’: Dog mom is headed straight to jail after mounting her pup’s stick with macrame

There’s no greater crime on this earth than betraying a canine companion, which unfortunately means we must condemn TikTok user @basilionbrush to a lengthy prison sentence. 

It’s simply necessary, sorry to say, after the content creator committed the greatest of sins following a walk with her loyal dog. What could she have done, I hear you ask, to deserve such a sentence? Did she kick her dog? Return it to the shelter like Lily Allen? Deprive it of the love and affection it so clearly deserves? I hate to be the one to tell you this, dear reader, but @basilionbrush’s transgression is far worse. The absolute monster of a dog owner broke the carnal rule of canine ownership and robbed her poor, sweet pup of a potential plaything. 

Now, to be fair to @basilionbrush, her dog Basil hadn’t previously shown interest in the stick the creator found on a walk. She simply stumbled across the fallen bit of wood, saw artistic potential in it, and scooped it up for later use. That later use turned out to be a bit of charming macrame, hung up on @basilionbrush’s bathroom wall, but it came with unforeseen consequences. See, it doesn’t really matter if a dog shows initial interest in something. It’s entirely up to them when something becomes a target of their fascination, and it wasn’t until that stick turned into art that @basilionbrush’s pooch decided to lay claim. 

As a result, Basil now makes frequent trips to the bathroom — not to relieve himself, but to pine desperately after the elusive stick. It is mere feet away, but it may as well be a mile, for all the likelihood the poor pooch has of getting it in his mouth.

Even if he doesn’t have the support of his owner, Basil certainly has the support of the internet. They heaped pleas of “Justice for Basil” in the post’s comment section, and quite a few suggested that “if it’s a stick found on Basil’s walk, then it’s technically Basils stick.” It’s just math.

After all, everyone knows sticks are for dogs, not for walls. Dogs love sticks, and there’s actual psychology behind the reason why. A few factors typically come into play when your pup finds a new woody obsession, from its similarity to a bone to its delightfully chewy nature, but the obsession is a constant amongst canines. Whether your pup is offering a stick as sacrifice for all you do, using it to initiate play, or just enjoying a good bout of destruction, they’re among the most popular natural toys you can find. And, in Basil’s case, they’re also non-negotiably dog property. I’m with a bulk of commenters in predicting that Basil’s elusive stick won’t stay elusive for long — after all, how can you say no to that face?