‘Everyone in NYC is a real life sitcom character’: Man inadvertently steals his neighbor’s groceries while trying to secure a food delivery

The occasional social faux pas is an unfortunate part of being a human in a populated area, but there are some slip-ups from which there is no coming back.

Forgetting someone’s name, issuing an accidental insult, or fumbling an argument will all make a return as crippling shower thoughts eventually, but there’s simply no recovering from TikToker and comedian Mohanad Elshieky (@mohanad.elshieky91)’s recent blunder. His minor slip-up saw the New Yorker brazenly steal his neighbor’s groceries without a thought, and he’s now designated as the “most dangerous man in America,” and for good reason.

The side-splitting Libyan comic delivered his story with flawless comedic timing, detailing how a botched food delivery resulted in his ostracization by at least one of his nearby neighbors. See, Elshieky was awaiting a delivery of dinner in his New York apartment when his driver informed him that the building door was locked. Being the good, worker-conscious consumer he is, Elshieky headed down to greet his driver, saw him on the other side of the door, and simply relieved him of his burden.

He even waved as he retreated up the steps — because he’s polite like that — before returning to his apartment and discovering a mix-up. In his bag was not the food he ordered, but simple ingredients. This connected the dots in Elshieky’s head, and he realized “I thought I was getting my food delivered, and I was just doing crime.”

Completely inadvertently, Elshieky had wandered downstairs, mistaken his neighbor for a delivery driver, and simply stolen the poor man’s groceries from him. He then added insult to injury by shutting the door in his face, and monstrously waving as he sidled up the stairs to enjoy his stolen treat.

Elshieky even tried to right his wrong, but to no avail. He did find his actual delivery when he returned downstairs, but not his poor wronged neighbor, leaving him up one meal and a bonus bag of groceries. Even his attempt at clarity ultimately failed — by the time he saw his neighbor again, it was too late. All trust is officially gone, but Elshieky is taking it in stride. In his mind, he’s now “the alpha of this building,” and there’s no guarantee more food theft won’t crop up in the future.

The story is too well-delivered to be anything but utterly hysterical, but his actions could carry some relatively harsh consequences if his neighbor worked up the courage to pursue legal action. In New York, any theft under $1,000 is considered “petit larceny,” which is considered a class A misdemeanor, and if convicted carries a maximum sentence of 364 days in jail and a $1,000 fine.

Groceries are expensive these days, but there’s no way more than $1,000 worth of goods were contained within a single bag. In fact, it was probably less than $100 worth of food, which is very likely why Elshieky’s neighbor declined to pursue him further. It’s a minor loss, at the end of the day, and it’s all worth it for the stunning story it spawned.