‘How u scared of a groundhog?’: Woman terrified to leave house when an absolute unit of a groundhog puts down roots on her front porch

Seeing a groundhog first thing in the morning was a sign that he was trapped in an eternal time loop for Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, but for one easily terrified TikToker, it was a sign that they were doomed never to escape their house thanks to the unlikely squatter who had decided to make her front step its new home.

The only woman in the world who might count Groundhog Day as a horror movie faced what might be her nightmare scenario when she tried to get outside to fetch a parcel and found, it has to be said, a particularly chunky groundhog on the other side of the door, blocking her exit. Doing her best impression of Harry Potter’s Uncle Vernon, the TikToker initially tapped the glass and ordered it to go away. When the critter turned around, however, the woman lost her cool completely and shrieked like a bad actress in a B-grade slasher movie.

Thankfully, the groundhog himself appeared to be entirely unbothered by her screams and remained where he was. The past 30 years haven’t been kind to Punxatawny Phil, you see. There aren’t a lot of acting gigs going around for a groundhog (rumor has it, Murray stole his cameo in Zombieland), so when he finds a prime bit of real estate like this lady’s front porch he’s not about to give it up.

If there’s one thing you can count on TikTok for, it’s to be on the side of the animals. Parcel lady is getting precisely zero sympathy from the rest of the app, as the many comments prove that everyone is on Phil’s side on this one. “I’m sorry but your reaction is so funny especially when the groundhog is just sitting there, staring at you calmly,” someone said. “What is a Groundhog gonna do to you….mam” another questioned. “Good thing you didn’t overreact,” another commenter mocked. She’s lucky it was only a groundhog on her doorstep, and not an actually dangerous animal.

But, wait — to be fair to our horror-struck heroine for a moment, groundhogs aren’t always as harmless as they appear. The Mayo Clinic notes that they are known to carry ticks which may transmit Powassan virus, a particularly nasty infection. Certain tenacious groundhogs have also been known to attack small dogs. Luckily for this woman, and other groundhog-aphobes out there, there are ways to repel them.

According to Humane Rescue Alliance, an effective measure is simply to attach a mylar balloon outside where you fear groundhogs might shelter. The constant movement of the balloon will confuse them and, thinking the balloon a threat, they will retreat. Yes, groundhogs are that dumb, and yet they’re also smart enough to be weathermen. Evolution is weird.