‘I was not prepared for this’: Icky liquor store hookup leading to marriage and kids will either make you believe in love or swear off it forever

The “meet-cute,” the rom-com trope where the two future star-crossed lovers meet for the first time in a humorous yet heart-fluttering way, is a broad church that encompasses all kinds of amorous encounters. One that you wouldn’t expect to end in a happily ever after, however, is a grimy hookup behind a liquor store between a teen and an unhygienic panhandler.

With Hollywood strangely neglecting to turn this into a movie directed by Nora Ephron or Nancy Meyers, it fell on TikTok user Rikki Leigh to share this wild ride of an epic romance with the world. “I had this friend in high school and she was f***ing wild,” Rikki began, before setting the scene of where this modern-day Romeo & Juliet story took place.

Rikki explains that she and her friend were off to a party and needed to pick up some beer. So, in time-honored tradition, they hung around outside the liquor store and waited for someone to come by who would agree to buy the booze for them. Their best option turned out to be a guy nearby who was busking. Given his unkempt appearance, Rikki assumed he was homeless so instructed her friend to offer him beer in exchange for doing them a favor. Instead, he came up with an alternate idea for payment…

To prevent this story from getting NSFW, let’s just say that Guitar Guy said he’d get the beer for them if he could… perform a service for Rikki’s friend. Although Rikki herself was disgusted by the idea, her friend said “we need to do this” and disappeared behind the store for all of five minutes. Although Rikki feared her friend was going to get murdered, they came back, the guy got them the beer, and presumably all parties went on their merry way. But that’s not the end of it.

“Was she molested? Yeah, he was way older than us, but I’m thinking it must’ve been pretty good,” Rikki revealed. “Because it’s been 18 years since we were at high school and they are married with four children.” Guitar Guy, as it turns out, was not homeless. In fact, he was pretty well-off and ended up putting his liquor store lover through school and today Rikki’s wild friend is a successful criminal defense attorney by profession. “He’s old as f*** but they’re living their best lives,” is how Rikki colorfully puts it.

TikTok doesn’t seem to know whether to find this whole story horrifying or hilarious. “Their wedding vows really wrote themselves,” one comment quipped, whole another joked that they can honestly see why events took the shocking turn they did: “The fact it only took 5 minutes… I’d marry him too.” Others really want to know how these two respond when they’re asked that inevitable question. “Imagine what they say when people ask ‘so how’d you guys meet?'”

If you thought Ted Mosby’s 10-year tale was inappropriate for his children, though, then wait until the offspring of these two lovebirds who found their forever person while doing it next to a dumpster get old enough to ask how mommy and daddy met. As one hilarious comment predicted: “”And that, kids, is how I met your mother.”