‘It’s my time to shine’: Man discovers company that will buy your poop for top dollar, but he fails the vetting process for hilarious reason

Poop. It’s a topic that often elicits giggles, grimaces, or a swift change of subject. But let’s be real, everybody poops. It’s an undeniable, unavoidable fact of life, a daily ritual that unites us all, regardless of our myriad differences. So, why not make the most of it?

Why not turn our bodily waste into cold, hard cash? Well, apparently, there’s a company out there willing to pay top dollar for your doo-doo. A penny earned is a penny earned, right? TikToker @ericmclaughlin04 stumbled upon this peculiar money-making opportunity and thought he had hit the jackpot. Eric shared his story of applying to be a “donator” for a company called the “Human Biome Project.” The process involved an IQ test (hey, smart poop is better than dumb poop), dietary questions (because you are what you eat, and apparently, they want to know what your poop eats), and a seven-day poop photo shoot.

But here’s where things took a hilariously unfortunate turn. Poor Eric had the misfortune of being struck by a vicious bout of diarrhea on Christmas Day, of all days. Faced with the dilemma of sending a photo of his yuletide yuckiness, Eric decided to add a festive touch. He wrote “Merry Christmas, sorry for the mess” on the notecard accompanying his diarrhea snapshot. Unfortunately, his attempt at humor (or perhaps honesty) cost him a spot in the third phase of the application process.

Eric’s story sparked a range of reactions from TikTok users. Some expressed their own bowel-related struggles, like constipation, which would make daily donations a challenge. Others marveled at the $180,000 annual compensation, admitting that they might consider selling their soul (or at least their stool) for that kind of money. And of course, there were those who couldn’t help but wonder what mysterious adventures await in the elusive “phase 3” of the application process. A stool sample taste test? The possibilities are endless, and frankly, a bit disturbing.

Before you start googling “Human Biome Project” and planning your early retirement, let’s take a moment to consider the absurdity of this whole situation. Most of us spent years studying and racking up student loan debt, only to find out that my most profitable asset was hiding behind us all along!

However, while Eric’s story is undeniably entertaining, we should approach unusual job opportunities like this with a healthy dose of skepticism. As one user noted, “My husband made it to phase three and still hasn’t been accepted! I think only 25 out of the 30,000 applicants make it that far and they told him that he was on the list and they’d reach out when they.” So yeah, not all that glitters is gold.