‘NOW WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT’: Woman has to get emergency surgery after she lodges sugary snack somewhere it shouldn’t be

What are you willing to sacrifice to get what you want? Some people are cautious, while others will eagerly risk it all, and we admire those truly willing to walk the walk to make their dreams come true.

Still, the consequences of your actions last forever. TikTok‘s @sarahgoinginsane, then, might have landed herself in a situation where she’ll be much more diligent about gauging both the means and the end going forward.

So buckle up, folks, because you’re about to witness a whole lot of internet.

Over the course of a 15-second video, Sarah relays a caption to us that’s simultaneously too specific to be fake but too cursed for us to accept as real; apparently, she’s being wheeled into emergency surgery in order to be relieved of the gummy worms she stuck in her rectum.

Now, your mind probably went somewhere after that sentence, and it is almost certainly the wrong turn. The reason for lodging the treats up her bum? To make a gerrymandered furry tail on account of her being unable to afford an actual, professionally-made furry tail. You know what’s probably more expensive than a furry tail? Emergency booty surgery. You know what’s even more expensive than that? The emotional fee that comes with explaining this situation to someone.

Of course, this probably didn’t faze the surgeon; a 2023 article on Newsweek took it upon itself to aggregate as many stories as possible about the peculiar things that have weaseled their way into the depths of their patients’ bowels. Such items include live flies, lighters, television remotes, and, one time, an entire coconut. One interviewee claimed that these items were sometimes collected as trophies.

The difference between Sarah and the person who crammed an entire coconut up their butt, however, is that we don’t have any leads on who the latter person is, nor why they did such a thing (and we’d like to keep it that way, thanks). Sarah, meanwhile, called herself out on the internet whilst revealing that the gummy worm enterprise came by way of being too impatient with her lack of a furry tail. Again, power to you and your dreams, Sarah, but this might be one of those instances where future you will be none too pleased with current you for any of the choices in play here.

But then again, this may prompt people to spend less time online, so perhaps this was a fantastic deed all along.