When you’re hungry or tired, every issue is magnified a thousand fold. A dropped key is enough to prompt a full-blown breakdown on only a few hours of sleep, and that outrage is perfectly personified in the very-human rage felt by a sleepy black bear.
Our poor, put-out queen takes center stage in a TikTok video from user @courtneyvucekovich, who captured the excruciating battle the poor bear undergoes in pursuit of a little shut-eye. The bear, clearly looking to catch a few z’s off the forest floor, stumbled across a nice, available hammock, and her voyage to settle in encapsulates every hammock experience ever.
I don’t know if any of you dear readers had a hammock growing up, but I did. I grew up in the woods — where plenty of black bears likewise roam — and we strung up a hammock between two Aspen trees when I was a kid. Let me tell you, the struggle of finding a comfortable spot on that thing — particularly when you lack those flexible digits to grab hold — is among the most frustrating experiences you’ll ever endure.
And endure Ms. Ma’am does, even as the hammock flips and flops its would-be occupant all over the forest floor. She makes numerous attempts to conquer the flimsy suspended bed, but is thwarted every time. Which leads to perhaps the best parts of the video, as the bear abandons all illusions and goes off on the hammock in the most human tantrum I’ve ever seen in my life.
It’s a truly unbeatable video, and the fact that several accompanying parts deepen our poor sleepy bear’s lore only elevates the saga. For those wondering, no, our diva never did quite manage to conquer her hanging foe. She did manage to soundly defeat it, but that massive tear she left behind likely isn’t making the hammock more comfortable.
@courtneyvucekovich is keeping up with our carnivorous queen via several mounted cameras, and — despite concerned comments from viewers — she’s likely not in any danger, even if she does venture a bit too close to her new neighbor. Bears of all kinds certainly look scary, and should be approached with caution and no shortage of forethought, but black bears are easily the least-dangerous of the bunch.
Black bears, which are common to the forested regions of North America, are the smallest bears found on the continent. They’re generally non-aggressive, and tend to choose flight over fighting more often than not. Incredible climbers, they’re typically more likely to climb a tree for escape rather than stick around, but that’s not to say you shouldn’t practice caution around every species of bear. If ever you’re not certain, remember the handy limerick passed down in areas like the one where I grew up: If it’s black, fight back. If it’s brown, lie down. If it’s white, say goodnight.
In case that’s not clear enough, for those of you who’ve never faced down a bear in your life — black bears can be easily intimidated. If you ever find yourself face to face with one, make yourself as big as possible and make a lot of noise — chances are, they’ll run away. If you ever face down a Grizzly Bear — aka a brown bear — there’s little hope of intimidation. If you lay down and play dead, however, there’s a much better chance of survival, as the beast may simply turn away and look for more interesting prey. If you ever find yourself in the vicinity of a polar bear, however, there’s not much hope of a tomorrow. They’re incredibly capable killers, and no amount of intimidation or stillness is like to save you.
Thankfully, our irate queen is but a black bear — just a curious little bear with her sights set on a cozy spot. Unfortunately for her, that spot seems determined to keep her out, but fortunately for the rest of us, it makes for some grade-A content.