‘They finally came out of the shoe box’: Fashion-conscious gay dads come clean to their son that they’ve started wearing Crocs

I know what you’re all thinking; how far have we fallen as a country that we would allow our children to not only be exposed to such disgusting behavior, but to have to be exposed to it from within their own family? Whatever happened to those good old boys and men who didn’t even need to be urged in the direction of colorless, leather footwear, and instead just tied them onto their feet without a word being said, like a true American?

Face it, folks; if this development on TikTok is any indication, there’s no going back for us now.

Hijacking their family account @rainbowdads, a young boy wasted no time putting his two fathers on full blast, lambasting their decision to out themselves as Croc-wearers. Being the son of someone who wears Crocs is, of course, social suicide, so the boy is more than justified in his disappointment.

But that’s not all; this boy brought receipts as well. When met with the classic “they’re comfy” counter-argument, the boy kindly reminded his fathers that they had very different opinions about Crocs as recently as one year ago, which went as far as saying that Crocs were “homophobic.” SpongeBob theme or no SpongeBob theme, this is a heel-turn that this boy probably won’t soon forgive nor forget; at least these two have good taste in sweatshirts.

Luckily for the boy, he won’t be subjected to this unforgivable fashion sin 24/7, chiefly because Crocs are not a 24/7 type of shoe. According to podiatrist Dr. Vanessa Barrow, Crocs are perfectly fine for running a quick errand and lazing around the house, but if you’re going anywhere that involves a lot of walking (such as a trip to Disney World, a hiking trail, or any activity that could easily trigger the shoe’s high fall risk), you’re better off slapping on some sneakers. The closed-cell resin material that Crocs are made of, meanwhile, may make for a comfortable, waterproof, and lightweight fit, but it also means they aren’t moisture-wicking. In other words, they’re very cozy sweat traps that can sometimes have SpongeBob stylings on them.

But more than that, Crocs are unnatural, and are completely antithetical to how a respectable modern family should look. Kudos to this young boy for not submitting to the Croc agenda; wearing Crocs is always the first step, and next thing you know, you’re forcing children to wear tie-dye bucket hats. When will the indecency end?