Tom Brady has announced that he was retiring “for good,” capping off a sad addendum to the legendary quarterback’s once record-smashing NFL career. And naturally, the news has people cracking jokes about the 45-year-old’s recently tumultuous personal life.
“Good morning guys, I’ll get to the point right away,” Brady said in a video he recorded and released himself on social media on Wednesday morning. “I’m retiring. For good. I know the process was a pretty big deal last time, so when I woke up this morning, I figured I’d just press record and let you guys know first.”
“I won’t be long-winded, you only get one super emotional retirement essay, and I used mine up last year,” he continued. “So really, thank you guys, so much, to every single one of you for supporting me — my family, my friends, my teammates, my competitors. I could go on forever, there’s too many.”
“Thank you, guys, for allowing me to live my absolute dream,” Brady concluded, beginning to choke up. “I wouldn’t change a thing.”
Brady famously announced his retirement last year, only to reverse course and come out of retirement for the 2022 Tampa Bay Buccaneers season just 40 days later. Given that he initially said he was retiring to spend more time with his family, that decision was highly speculated to have cost Brady his marriage to supermodel Gisele Bündchen.
Separation rumors first began swirling in September 2022, and Bündchen had filed for divorce by late October. In November, Bündchen was rumored to have moved on with her jiu-jitsu instructor. And it wasn’t even worth it from a career standpoint, since Brady’s final season with the Buccaneers wasn’t even particularly impressive, and the team got knocked out by the Dallas Cowboys in the Wild Card postseason round.
So, even from an outsider’s perspective, all signs seem to point to Brady royally screwing up. And as news of his re-retirement hit the internet, people naturally began making the logical conclusion that the 80 for Brady star was attempting to win his ex-wife back.
“Tom Brady exactly one month from now after his plan to get Gisele back doesn’t work,” quipped one Twitter user, sharing a clip of Leonardo DiCaprio in The Wolf of Wall Street.
Others made jokes about Pete Davidson, Gisele’s imagined reaction, and so on.
There were also plenty of jokes about everything from Beyoncé’s tour announcement overshadowing the news and the collective déjà vu we’re all experiencing, to what Brady is going to do now.
We wish him the best in his further endeavors.
Published: Feb 1, 2023 11:32 am